All the reasons I write...And more

Diary 3

I cant believe it.
Just like that I never spoke to him again, I miss him.
My brother.

He's no where to be seen, I might find him if I look on jides account, but I can't bring myself to see him not in the social world nor in the real world.

I moved to LA for a fresh start but in a few days I'm moving back, I can't stand it here it's to...not me
Everyone is in your face.

Everyone just gossips, argues, don't even get me started on the paparazzi, not saying I experienced that but like I've seen them before, real annoying pesky things. Plus I have like one or two paparazzi from my twitch account, though I don't post anymore.

Another day another start right?
Wrong.

I just can't stop thinking about the past events that had taken place.
The argument, the aftermath of the argument, where I am currently in life.

It's a lot to handle at the age of 25, some may say I'm old some say young but I really don't understand the difference, we all will die one day.

You know, it takes a lot of courage to leave him.
Leave a mutipulated manipulator.
I know it sounds crazy but like his friends that he's been with, they were not a good influence.

They manipulated him in so many ways.
I guess he then thought that's what love was, turned it on me.

My relationship with Jj was the sweetest, we kept it private.

I bought him hamsters, even if it was a private relationship, it was strong.
Key word, was.

The backstory from our relationship is the sweetest thing.

I wanted to marry him, call him mine forever but I just couldn't. Not after what had been done.

I should give a background story of our relationship, really I should but my therapist told me to leave him all behind and in the past.

I've tried

But I fell in love what am I supposed to do?

No no not inlove I hate him, he's a jerk.

I've been eating non-stop, even after I'm full if someone asks me to eat I just keep eating, I hate it.
I look fat, my face on one side looks so much more inflated then the other side.

I want to start doing something with my life instead of this stupid notebook, app thingy.

I seriously need a name for you.

Bestfriend.
Yeah that seems right.

Well best friend goodnight.