Harmless (Bucky Barnes)

(xviii)

This was quite possibly the biggest, stupidest decision he had ever made and hoo boy, was that list hard to top.

"Wanda-" Bucky shuts his eyes tightly, pressing his fingers to his temples to alleviate his growing stress headache -"what the fuck are we doing?"

"Planning a date." She pops a piece of caramel popcorn into her mouth, considerably less stressed. Why would she be? She didn't have a date in less than 10 hours that she was grossly unprepared for.

"No, I mean-" he begins but it just ends in an exhale. "What the fuck am I doing?"

"Growing a stress ulcer."

Entirely unhelpful, thanks.

"What's got you so worked up? Do you regret asking her out?" She rattles the bowl in front of him. He turns it down with a quick sigh.

"Fuck no." His answer comes back immediately.

"Okay, if that's not the problem, then this is something we can solve." Wanda brushes off her hands, setting the pencil down before sitting upright. "Look at the list."

Bucky bolts up. "Don't read out the list."

"Skydiving?" she questions when he's too late to stop her, eyebrows knitted together. "When did we add skydiving?"

"After an escape room and dinner at that waterfront place." He groans, voice drowned out by the pillow pressed against his face.

"There's also pottery lessons."

He doesn't even remember writing that.

"Wanda, what was I thinking?"

"Too much." She hums, still pouring over the bullet points. "Stop overthinking this. You know what she'd like, you're just freaking out."

"I don't know anything at this point," he mumbles to himself.

"Okay, how about we remove things she won't like?" Wanda suggests, quiet scratches against paper as she begins to strike out multiple options. "We can start with fishing."

"We wrote fishing?" Bucky lifts his head off the pillow to frown.

"And Walmart."

"For what?"

"I don't know, it just says Walmart."

He wants to die.

"Shoulda just left this up to her, she's the creative one," he grumbles. Bucky's just the muscle. The next time you asked him out jokingly he should have agreed and gone with it.

But here he was with fucking Walmart on his list.

"Just ask her then," Wanda's face is sympathetic, given that it's hours since they've been at this, "or maybe her friend. It'd narrow things down."

"That's a terrible idea," he says instantly. "Where's my phone?"

She tosses it towards him before picking up her popcorn again.

He doesn't even have to fully unlock his phone to see a string of texts populating his notification bar, frown growing deeper with each one.

From T

Just in case she doesn't decide to tell you: she's at Mercy West General

From Villain(ish)