Spectrum of Sleep

CHAPTER IX | How Does It Feel?

Mom's face changed after those words came out of her mouth. The two of them stopped and looked at each other while everything was silent. Suddenly, a crackle of thunder boomed outside and the rain once again started pouring down.

Mom's face suddenly turned into an expression showing regret and sadness. Elliot's face already had tears rolling down her face while she looked at mom, as did I. Fiercey was nowhere to be found. This was where all that hatred came from, this very moment, my heart sunk down into a metal cage, never to be vulnerable ever again.

"Elliot, I-" mom muttered. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know damn well what you mean, mother." Elliot replied.

Elliot wiped her tears from her face with her hand and sniffed. She had a look of anger on her face while wiping.

"I'm not an idiot, not anymore like you used to say. I know damn well what you mean, and I accept." Elliot looked at mom in the eye.

"No no, Elliot that was a mistake-"

"I know, it's always a mistake. We always say things we don't want to say when we're angry because it's the ones we keep buried deep down inside. The truth that we deny about certain things." Elliot continued. "You don't have to apologize, maybe you might as well blame someone else for it." Elliot said stomping to her room and shutting it close.

Mom didn't really do much as she just continued to stand by the living room. She didn't say a word nor move a muscle. Fiervey suddenly emerged from the couch and meowed at her. Mom snapped out of it and sat down slowly on the couch. Fiercey walked towards mom's lap and made herself comfortable on them.

I watched mom pet Fiercey caringly like nothing happened moments ago. Like there was no screaming and yelling and like dad didn't die. She was just there at the moment, but her face was of despair, sadness and regret.

"You hungry little one?" Mom asked Fiercey.

Fiercey made no reply but mom still carried her towards the kitchen. She placed him on top of the table and she waited for mom to finish preparing her food. In the meantime, I dashed through my room to check on young Elliot.

When I entered the room, it was dark. She was sitting down on the floor, Indian sitting on the spot of light that beamed through my windows from the streets. She just sat there, looking up outside the window where the light came from. I remembered that I was thinking that time, thinking about all the things that had happened lately, processing them.

Slowly, at this moment did I realize that while I processed everything that happened, my anger grew on Fiercey. She didn't seem like a pet but more like a pest to me. I thought to myself that I had every right to be angry at her, she was the one who messed it all up. She never even belonged to us in the first place.

I took a quick peek outside the room to see what was happening. Mom was watching Fiercey eating the cat food she had gave her. It was like she had been hypnotized by this cat, that they wouldn't listen to me. I took my attention back to Elliot.

"This is all her fault. Or was it?" It echoed in the room. There was a low rumbling sound. I turned back; Elliot was staring at me.

Or was it? Or was it? Or was it? It continued to echo in the room. On and on, again and again getting louder each time it repeated. This is all her fault!

BOOM!

The room I was in with younger Elliot had exploded and an incredible force has pulled me behind. In a dark cold void, I flew fast going to the opposite direction of my point of view. I couldn't turn or look back.