I'll learn to dance in the rain [korrasami]

24

Asami

I would say that she's a star, but she's more than that by far. A whole universe perhaps?

She holds me gently, faintly but as tight as her muscles will allow her too. "Hug me until I smell like you."

I give her a chuckle and stroke her forearms with my thumbs. "You want to smell like antiseptic?"

"It's better than what I smell like."

That's a lie. But I hug her anyway, cradling myself into her neck. She smells of everything nice and at this point I want to smell like her. So I hug her tighter. So tight until she leaves her scent on my shirt like it's the last thing she'll ever give me.

That was the last time I saw her peaceful. The days got shorter and the weather grew worse. As if her own emotions told mother nature to follow suite. Though the sessions I don't doubt are the problem.

It was quiet one night. We sat by the window looking out. The moon was clear as if it had parted the clouds just to catch a glimpse of her. I envied the moon having such a good seat, not even Ginger could afford. "You're amazing you know that?" I told her and drew patterns on her palm with my finger.

I didn't get a response.

I tried not to let it bother me but everytime I see her connected to the machines, watching how it poisons her, it reminds me everytime. She's weak and getting weaker.

I'm terrified of the future and I wish I could live in the past. She'll exist there, she always will. My insides melt together and form an ache. I'm terrified to live moments that are only distant memories, terrified of a tomorrow that doesn't have her in it.

But she was there yesterday, the day before that and the day before that. She will be the comforting lullaby on my pillowcase even when I can no longer remember her scent on my shirt. She'll always be a few inches shorter than me even when I can't stand next to her to compare.

My skin will always remember her touch, even when my mind has grown too old to remember the exact temperature of it.

Yet I'll be hopeful enough to live in the moments of us, and I'll try to do that for as long as time allows.

"Asami." She says, croaking.

I give myself whiplash from turning to meet her eyes so quickly. "Yes?"

Her hand finds mine. "Can you turn it up?"

I tilt my head in confusion and it takes me a minute to understand. She gives me a helping hand by glancing over to the needles in her arms and my heart stops beating.

"I'm not doing that Korra."

"Why?" Her hand leaves mine quickly, and it suddenly feels cold.

"I can't do th-"

"Can't you see this is torture?" She yells and I flinch from her harsh tone. "I'm dying! Everything hurts and you're keeping me here, to suffer!"

"Korra-"

"You want me to be happy don't you!"

"Of course."

"I'm trying to be happy, so why won't you help me?"

"Because I don't think I could live another day without you!" I yell, finally releasing that tightness. She needs to know, I can't do this without her.

It backfires. I see my selfishness reflect in the whites of her eyes.

Then they water and it trails down her cheeks until shes sobbing. "When will this end?"

I hold her until the sun made an appearance.