this is me trying- taylor swift
meredith struggling mentally
Another morning came and she didn't want to get out of bed. As simple as getting out of bed for the day just seemed to be too much work for her. The idea of getting out of bed felt to be too much for Meredith. All she wanted to do was stay in bed Staying in bed meant she can hide from the world under all her blankets and have a day alone and be able to avoid without anyone asking her what's wrong or if she's okay.
That was ideal to her but Meredith seems to have the most perfect boyfriend in the world who seemed to know her better than herself. And she wasn't complaining about Derek. But now anytime he sees her, all he sees is how sad she looks especially in her eyes. She wasn't trying to do this for attention she just felt as if she was hitting rock bottom. But she still felt as if she was still falling and hasn't hit the ground to try and get help. Getting help is as easy as it sounds but Meredith would first have to admit to herself that she is not okay and needs help. And not just that she is fine. But actually admit she needs help.
Looking at this from a doctor's view point, she knows she's depressed but it's different when it's happening to yourself. If it was anyone else, she would be advocating for them to get help. But she seems to not follow that advice for herself.
But this morning, getting out if bed just seemed to be near-impossible. That's when she saw Derek was still in bed sleeping as well.
"Derek?" Meredith asked, more confused then ever.
"Oh you up." Derek said, sitting up.
"Y- you're supposed to be at work right now." Meredith stammered.
"And so are you." Derek countered.
"I'm sick." She lied then proceeded to fake cough.
"Like you have been the past week." Derek scuffed.
"I have been."
"Mer are you? Or is something else wrong?" Derek asked, knowing the deeper issue but wanted her to talk about it openly and willing.
"I'm fine. I just need another's day worth of sleep."
"Whatever you say my dear." Derek said, kissing the top of Meredith's forehead as she curled back into a fetal position and went back to sleep.
When Derek got out of bed, he made the pot of coffee like he does everyday. Normally, while Meredith was getting ready, Derek would make coffee, make breakfast in-hopes that Meredith would eat the actual food and not cold pizza or leftovers. But the past several weeks, he noticed Meredith zoning out into her own world, taking longer to do simple tasks, not eating as much as she does, working longer hours, no longer wanting to change in the same room as him. So, Derek knew the doctor answer would be, she's showing early signs of depression but he couldn't look at it from a doctor's view point because he would be forcing her to talk to someone but wanted to see it from a significant other's view point. And so, Derek did research and found online support groups of family members and significant others' talking about how they talked to the person suffering and got them to help. The more Derek read online, the more he just wanted to help her. He absolutely hates seeing his loved ones struggle. Especially Meredith. Since they were both off today, Derek wanted to try and get Meredith to talk and be open to the idea of maybe getting help or start going to therapy.
Derek spent most of the day straightening up the house, doing laundry, washing the dishes. Normally the two split the household chores but ever since Meredith got into an episode, she doesn't do anything. Derek was also beating himself up for not seeing that she was struglging between how she zones out, always tired. But he couldn't dwell on that now that they were going to talk and no more of the 'I'm fine' bullshit.
...
After Derek finished cleaning up the house, he went back to their bedroom and slowly opened the door. There he saw Meredith laying in the same exact position as she was when he left the bedroom that morning.
"Mer." Derek whispered, slowly walking into the room and sitting on his side of the bed.
"Yeah?" He heard a small mummer.
"Can we talk?"
"I- sure?" She answered. "What happened?" She asked as she sat up from her fetal position.
"Before I start you need to be fully and completely honest with me."
"Derek what is it?" She interrupted.
"Answer me first."
"Yes I promise." Meredith rolled her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Was all he asked and he saw how the small smile she had on her face dropped almost immediately.
""I'm fine." She lied and Derek knew it was a lie.
"Meredith." He whispered, holding her hands as he saw her eyes water.
"I- I am fine. Just I need to get over this and it's okay. I am okay. Really. It's okay. I know what to do." Meredith anxiously said.
"Mer calm down. It's okay. We can talk about this." He calmly said in a low tone which made her feel more relaxed.
"It's nothing big. Just I'm kinda depressed but I know what to do. That's all." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just need a couple days to myself then I'll be back to normal."
"Mer honey that's not healthy. If this has happened before and you didn't get any help, you don't have the proper skills to cope with it and it'll just keep being this large and messy cycle and it'll keep getting worst if you don't talk about it. Not talking about how you feel and keeping it bottled up is not healthy. Soon it'll keep piling up till you snap over one small thing and you finally feel what you kept bottled up. So please no bottling up and always come talk to me"
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Honey it's not your fault that there's a chemical imbalance in your brain. The only thing we can do is work through this together, get the help you need if you want. We're going to go at your pace. No matter how fast or slow we move, we'll do this together."
"I think you're right about me needed help." Meredith admitted.
"We can call tomorrow for an appointment." Derek kissed the top of her head,. bringing her closer to his chest.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For loving me and pushing me to get help when I need it."
"Thank you for letting me."
hey guys so this is my one-shot book i decided to do. so every now and then i'll publish one-shots on here. if you have any ideas for one-shots, please comment or message me. i hope you all have had a fantastic christmas holiday season and a happy healthy new year. love you all❤️
