mirrorball- taylor swift
meredith and derek best friends in high school : )
All she wanted was for her mother to notice her. Just give her a glimpse of attention. She wasn't doing any of this to be a bad kid, she just wanted her mother tp care and notice her. What she wanted was a family like Derek's. Everyone was happy. Supporting one another and showed up to events of any kind. The science fair, basketball games, any type of event for one of her children they were there. They always showed up to Meredith's events as well as she's Derek's best friend and Mrs.Shepard loves Meredith like of her own. But Meredith just wanted her mother to look at her.
Everyone will stop to look at the pretty mirrorball when the little squares glisten but when the lights were off, no one stopped to look. That's how Meredith always feels with her mother around. She never stops to look at her and will only notice her flaws.
Every fight they've had lead Meredith running to her room and silently cry as her mother hates tears and says crying is for the weak. Then her mother would leave to go back to the hospital. Usually by the time her mother left, Derek would call her every night to talk and knew Meredith was crying 99.9% of the time. Most of the time he tries to get her to talk about it or to just come over but Meredith hated to talk about her feelings, and didn't want to feel as a burden to the Shepherds. That's another thing her mother told her. To not go over the Shepards as much and to stop being a burden to them. But on a rare occasion she did talk about her feelings. Meredith normally went home with Derek everyday after school and they would start their homework then around dinner time, Meredith would leave.
Tonight was just like every other night. Her mother yelling at her for having pink hair. Only the dye had faded out and it's been faded out for about 2 weeks now. It was only now Ellis heard about it from someone in the hospital. The pink hair was just for her mother to look at her. But even then she didn't. Now Derek was calling her to talk like they do every night.
"Hey." Derek greeted into the phone.
"Hey." Meredith echoed back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine." Meredith quickly denied.
"Meredith."
"Derek."
"I am fine." She insisted.
"Nope. And I'm coming over."
"Derek it's okay. You don't need to."
"Too bad." Derek said before ending the call.
And in a whopping 10 minutes Meredith heard knocking on the front door. When she opened the door, there he was.
"You weren't joking." Meredith said.
"Well my best friend needs to talk and doing it at my house everyone would listen. So I am here."
"Well there is nothing to talk about."
"You were and are still crying." Derek pointed out. "There's tear stains on your cheeks and your eyes are red. Plus I never believed that you have ever been fine since we were 5."
"Well I am." Meredith rolled her eyes. "TV?"
"No. Talking."
No talking."
"We are talking."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Are we just going to keep doing this till I talk?"
"Yes."
"Fineeee." Meredith groaned, sitting up on the couch since she was sitting on the floor.
"Thank you."
"I still don't get the point of this." Meredith muttered to herself which lead Derek to chuckle.
"You know you look cute right now. With your nose scrunched and your hair pulled back."
"Can we just get this over with please because I already don't like this."
"Yes. So start."
"What's there to say? My mother finally noticed the pink hair."
"But that was like 2 weeks ago?" Derek said.
"I know. But someone at the hospital brought it up and she found out, came home to yell at me, then left. Derek this happens every night. So why do you want to make me talk. It's not a big deal." Meredith finished, with her voice breaking and holding back the tears. She didn't want to cry in-front of Derek. Even though they have been best friends since they were 5, she still felt embarrassed to cry with him around.
"You wanted her to see?" Derek guessed.
"Not just that." She shook her head, fighting back the tears. "I wanted her to actually see and notice it. Not just yell about how I embarrass her." She finished, allowing tears to start rolling down her face.
"Oh Mer." Derek said sadly, pulling her into his chest. "It's okay. Just let it out."
"I-I just want her to see me. Notice me." She sobbed into his shirt.
"It'll be okay." Derek said softly. "For the record, my mom loved your pink hair."
"Thanks." Meredith softly smiled.
"You know you can't keep this in right?" Derek asked, cupping her cheeks.
"I-I don't. I just talk about it on my own."
"Meredith I know you. You don't talk about it. You avoid. But never talk."
"And how do you know this?" She countered.
"Because I've known you since we were 5. I learn when you are and aren't fine." Derek simply answered.
"Oh."
"Yeah. And I'm telling you this so you know that you can always count on me. I won't leave Mer. But keeping things bottled up can do more harm than good. It'll be so much bottled up, you just explode and it can come out in the wrong ways. So you are going to need to learn how to talk to me and express how you're feeling."
"Thanks."
"Now do you want to come over? I'm pretty sure my mom just made cookies because she's always in the kitchen." Derek asked.
"I mean if she has snickerdoodle." Meredith smiled.
"She always does. Between you and me, she likes you more than me and the sisters."
"Well aren't I special."
"Just shut up and let's go."
"Whatever Derek Shepherd." Meredith laughed as the two walked out of the house.
hope you liked this one. kinda sad as im low-key in the feels rn but its good. : )
