Double Black

my last breath, it belongs to you

TW: Major Character Death, and angst 
(listen i know i write fluff, but give it a chance okay!)

Ever since Chuuya met him, every aspect of his life has always been overwhelmed by Dazai. 

On the battle field, they were undoubtedly partners; they fought together, putting their trust in each other. They have always had that trust as a foundation of their infamous partnership; ever since they first met and worked together. Chuuya didn't like the shitty bastard, but he'd trust him with his life in half a heartbeat.

Behind closed doors... Well, that part of their relationship has always been unbelievably simple as well. Not that outsiders could ever hope to understand any part of it. They couldn't do so even if they tried. After all, Dazai and Chuuya were special. Always have been. 

It started when the mackerel forced his way into Chuuya's new home when they were just fifteen, a couple of days after they had both joined the Mafia. Of course, Dazai has been assigned his own apartment, but he refused to stay there. Something about feeling exposed and vulnerable in that cursed apartment Mori had assigned to him. Chuuya hadn't understood it at the time, but he saw exactly what his partner had meant slowly over time.

But Dazai had always felt safe in Chuuya's home, with Chuuya. It was never said outright, but it was always heavily heavily implied. And well, Chuuya had had enough time to understand how that stupid fish's brain worked; he was well versed in picking apart Dazai's words and exposing the true meaning to them. 

Chuuya had learned to take care of himself at a very young age. Specifically, ever since he 'came to' when he was seven. Subsequently, he had also learnt how to protect others. He'd spent quite a few years with the Sheep after all. On the other hand, Chuuya didn't learn how to exactly take care of another person until he was fifteen. 

Dazai didn't really need protection. He was disgustingly crafty and manipulative, has always been, ever since Chuuya first laid eyes on him in that one alley. But the stupid mackerel never learned how to take care of himself, so of course, Chuuya had to do it for him. 

By the time they turned sixteen, Chuuya was also well-versed in taking care of overgrown bratty mackerels. That included cooking and feeding his basic nutrition requirements, and on some particularly bad days, throwing his partner into the shower and washing him. Changing his bandages was also something Dazai allowed him to do over time. Chuuya cursed his stupid heart every single day for feeling special because of that.

But, he supposed he was special. After all, out of everyone else in that bastard's life, Chuuya was the only one who was still around after seven years. Dazai didn't have many people in his life in the first place, but it was special still the same. Not only that, their relationship had also progressed immensely beyond just behind work partners. Although, not that they had ever been just that.

At the age of twenty two, Nakahara Chuuya's life was still equally, if not more, consumed by that shitty Dazai. Other than the fact they still lived together, he was still taking care of his partner. Still helping him hang on when he had those shitty, awful days. Still being the place for him to belong to. Some things don't change, and Chuuya most certainly didn't plan on changing them anytime soon. He had promised the fish a lifetime anyway.

Lately, Chuuya found himself doing peculiar things. For one, his brain had a permanent fixture in the shape of that shitty Dazai. That wasn't anything new, but it was different than usual. Chuuya could tell. He had always worried over and thought about Dazai constantly; but never to do this extent.

It was alright, he supposed. There was no harm in occasionally reminiscing and thinking of particular old incidents once in a while. And if he fretted over the mackerel's mental health constantly, and sent him tons of little texts throughout the day? Well, that wasn't anything out of the ordinary either.