the cliff

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author's note

☼ HIII EVERYONE the pic above is a scan code for the playlist for this story :)) it goes in chronological order from all
of the songs ive put in so far. if you wanna start from this chapter onwards it starts with cigarette daydreams :)) my username on spotify is retroackerman (same as here lol) and the playlist is called when we were young

☼ all i have to say is that before you read..... I'M SORRY Y'ALL. try to enjoy the ride.... DON'T HATE ME FOR WHAT'S AB TO GO DOWN HAHAHHA

☼ thank you all for reading. I have an instagram for this story @retroackermanS !!

☼notice how these bullet points are suns??? yeah..... AHSHDHSJA OKAY GO READ LOL

TRIGGER WARNINGS: talks of death, suicide, dissociation and panic attacks

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y/ns point of view

After training wrapped up, nothing in particular happened. You and Jean just continued practice like normal as soon as you agreed to meet up with him tonight after lights out. Almost as if he was putting up an act until you agreed to go with him.

When training wrapped up for today, Mikasa found you and you walked back to the bunks to get ready for dinner together. On your walk together she asked how training went with Jean. You told her how were able to balance on your own with Jean's unique methods. Mikasa seemed unsatisfied with your answer almost. "That's it? Didn't talk about anything interesting?"

You contemplate telling Mikasa everything that happened. From the question game to the hip squeezing to Jean catching you to the most important thing, Jean asking you to meet up with him tonight. It's too embarrassing to admit aloud but you were almost excited to meet up with him tonight. But before you can gush to Mikasa, you remember how Jean asked you not to just meet up, but it had to be after lights out. He probably wanted to keep it under wraps that you two were meeting up. Also it judging how he avoided sitting with you at breakfast based on who you were sitting with, it was obvious he was't friends with Mikasa and the rest most likely.

Plus, it wasn't like you yourself wanted people to know. You remember Sasha mentioning a lot of the girls in the bunks watching you and Jean that one night when you pulled the joke on him and how humiliating that was. Also, the thought of Annie, Bertholdt, or even Reiner finding out you were sneaking out of the bunks tonight to go hangout with some boy was something you rather not have them have the knowledge of. You just wanted to keep this simple.

So you decide against telling Mikasa. "No he didn't. He made a few dumb jokes here and there but he really did help me." Well that wasn't a lie but it wasn't the entirely the truth.

"Oh."

When you and Mikasa get back to the bunks finally she detaches from you by hitting the showers before dinner. You decide to just get some rest in your own bunk until dinner. Your top bunk is empty with no Sasha and you wonder where she could be since most of the cadets are arriving back to the bunks right now and you can't imagine her being late to dinner considering how she acted over breakfast.

You sigh and roll over in your bed so your facing the window. Out the window you could see the boy's bunks in the far distance. Jean was probably back now too. You wondered what the fuck you and Jean were going to do tonight and why it had to be so late. As your mindless thoughts continue and you stare out the window. The nameless cadets stroll by until you see one cadet you know the name to.

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