New Year's Day [A Bensler Fan Fic]

[Twenty-Nine]

"Uh, I'm Olivia Stabler. I was wondering if it was possible to see Bernie Stabler?" Olivia asked nervously. Fin had tried to talk Olivia out of going into the hospital, but she was stubborn and Fin decided to go in with her so she wouldn't get into trouble.

"Mrs. Stabler isn't here anymore. She checked herself out last night." The nurse spoke. Olivia's eyes went wide, before she turned to look at Fin.

"She checked herself out? She's a manic bipolar woman." Olivia replied.

"She refused treatment. Mrs. Stabler didn't tell us where she was going, only that she didn't need help. She claimed that her son only brought her here because he didn't want to deal with her anymore."

Olivia bit her lip before nodding slowly.

"O-okay. Uh, did she leave any of her belongings?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing. She didn't even get taken to a room for her exam."

Fin and Olivia thanked the nurse before they walked towards the elevators. Once inside, Olivia turned to her friend and sighed.

"Do you feel like being my partner for a few hours? Just like old times?" Olivia smiled weakly.

"Liv, maybe Mrs. Stabler doesn't feel like being found. She's probably just hunkered down somewhere, and will surface again when she's ready for help." Fin replied.

"No, Fin. She's manic right now, so she doesn't think she needs help. Bernie will do everything in her power to not get help... so either we find her alive or we find her dead in a few months. Those are the options."

"Call your husband and tell him that we are going to be hanging out today. We can try and find her." Fin sighed.

///

"Where's Mama?" Kathleen asked, after Elliot got off the phone with his wife. Elliot picked up Jonah before turning to look at his daughter.

"Mama is with Uncle Fin." Elliot replied, as he carried his baby into the living room.

"Why?"

"Katie-"

"I want Mama." Kathleen whispered. She was about in tears, and Elliot didn't know what to do. He wanted to comfort his daughter, but he knew that his hugs wouldn't calm her like Olivia's do.

"She'll be home before dinner, my love. Is there something I can help with?"

Kathleen started to shake her head, before letting out a shaky breath and nodding.

"I'm anxious."

"What do you need me to do to help you?" Elliot replied.

"Hug me." Kathleen whispered. Elliot gave his daughter a soft smile before nodding. He laid Jonah down in his bouncer and buckled him in, before turning to Kathleen.

Elliot moved slow and didn't speak as he wrapped his arms around Kathleen's frail frame. 

"Can you squeeze tighter?" Kathleen asked, and Elliot hugged his daughter tighter. They stood there for a long time, and eventually Kathleen leaned back a bit and looked at her father.

"Dr. Madison told me that I can't just rely on Mama all the time... she said that I have to give you a shot too. So if I ask for Mama, can you try and help me instead of getting her?"

"Of course, Kathleen! I know that Mama makes us all feel better and safe, but I can kinda do that too. I promise." Elliot smiled.

"I love you, Daddy. Thanks for hugging me." Kathleen whispered, before stepping back and running to the stairs.

"I love you too, Katiebug!"

///

While Elliot was taking care of Kathleen and the rest of the kids, Olivia and Fin were driving around New York and New Jersey. They didn't know exactly where Bernie would go, so they were just checking different places. Eventually they went to Bayside, Queens. Bernie had moved after Joseph died and the kids left the house, but Olivia was willing to give it a shot.

Fin was going to Little Neck Bay to see if Bernie was by the water, and he was going to stay there until Olivia called him and told him their next place to look.

Olivia got to her husband's childhood home and frowned when she realized that it was abandoned. Along the path were crumbling tiles of concrete that had hand prints in them. Olivia found her husband's prints, and squatted down to run her fingers over them. 

She spent a few more minutes outside, before heading up the steps. She shook the door knob, and it opened with little pushing.

"Hello?" Olivia called into the house. 

There was no response, so Olivia pulled out her flashlight and started to search the house. She did the downstairs first, before heading upstairs. She frowned deeply when she entered the master bedroom.  Laying on the floor was Bernie, her body wrapped in an old ratty blanket.

"Bernie." Olivia whispered, as she quickly crossed the floor to where Bernie was laying. Olivia could tell that she was the sickest she had been in awhile, and it scared Olivia. Bernie didn't mean to hurt Kathleen, and it was incredibly clear now.

"Bernie." Olivia spoke louder, before shaking her mother-in-law's frail frame.

"Don't touch me!" Bernie screamed suddenly. She thrashed and her foot made contact with Olivia's head. Olivia swore weakly as she fell back and covered her face with her arms.

"Bernie, it's me! It's Olivia!" Olivia yelled, as she laid still and felt as Bernie kicked and punched her weakly.

"No!"

"Bernie, really! It's me, Olivia! Elliot's wife!" Olivia exclaimed. She was shocked to see that Bernie didn't recognize her after only being apart for a day.

"Kathy is Elliot's wife!" Bernie screamed over and over again.

Olivia stood up and stumbled from the room before shutting the door tightly. She held onto the handle before dialing Fin's number with her free hand.

"Hey, Liv. Ready to call it?" Fin yawned as he answered the phone.

"Fin, I found her and I need help." Olivia huffed as she struggled to keep the door shut.

"Where?"

"Elliot's childhood home. She's gotten worse and doesn't recognize me. So get over here fast before something worse happens."