64. When the war is over but the scars remain

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Azriel stood at the doorway, debating what should he do. Whether it would be acceptable for him to enter the room, or if he should silently slip away. It had been a week since the battle with Hybern and two since they had come back to Velaris. Nesta Archeron, Feyre' sister, was sulking in the bedroom beside the one whose door he now paced in front of.

Eve was sitting in this one and he had absolutely no idea what to do. Eve. Eve. Eve. Her name had consumed his mind. Everything about her, her very essence, had consumed him completely. Rhys was in the hall, along with everyone else, celebrating still. But, he could not get himself to celebrate, not when his mate- his mate, it still seemed so surreal- was covered in blankets and pillow, curled upon herself.

Eve lay, only her face being seen, on the large bed. Azriel watched her steady rhythm, her eyes closed but shifting every now and then. She had not said a word to anyone yet. The only time she had spoken was when she got up to speak those two lines in the meeting where the treaty was discussed. Those two lines were now etched in his mind, playing on replay as he thirsted for just one more word- a syllable- to be uttered by his mate. He longed to hear her again.

Fuck it. He thought and knocked on the door while looking at her. He knew she was not sleeping judging from the shifting of her eyeballs- just in deep thought or whatever abyss that had been created in the past few months. She did not reply but pulled her covers back a little bit and opened her eyes which locked straight with his. "Can I come in?" he rasped. Eve, after what seemed eternity to him, nodded slowly.

He entered as slow as a snail and bent down so that he was in level with her face which rested on a plush pillow. "Do you want something to eat?" A shake of head. "Drink?" Another shake of head. Az nodded understandingly. "Maybe come out? To celebrate? Everyone would love to see you," he finally settled on saying.

Eve wanted to go- she really did but, she could not get herself to interact at the moment. She felt like an open wound. So, she shook her head once again. "Alone," she replied instead, her voice sounding strange after not speaking for hours. Or was it days? She did not care for it did not matter. Nothing did anymore.

"Alright, if you need anything, tell me." She nodded and after a small sigh that escaped his lips, he left, making sure the door was slightly open should Eve need him or anyone else for that matter.

********

Azriel sulked at the corner as the rest of his family sat, making random conversations. His mind kept going back to his mate. Mor said something, looking at him expectantly. He gave her a small smile for the sake of it and let his shadows encase him. His family got the hint and continued the conversation without making it too awkward.

A week. He was a patient male, and he would wait for Eve, even if it took her all eternity but the pain that accompanied the waiting- it was becoming unbearable. Unbearable to see her depreciated state. His mate- he could not believe his luck still- was suffering ....... and he had no damned idea what to do. The glass of whiskey he had been holding in his hand shattered as he gripped it way too tightly at that thought. The conversation around him came to a halt as all their heads snapped towards where he stood.

"Excuse me," he muttered and left for the kitchen, not caring what they made out of his outburst. He was hoping for some solitude there but instead saw Elain. He dipped his head in acknowledgement and was about to leave once again when her soft voice came, "you can stay if you want. I do not mind the company."

Her eyes were hopeful and inviting- he did not have it in himself to crush it, so he agreed and sat down on one of the stools, opposite the table where she was making some bread. Her new hobby, according to Feyre. Elain opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Rhys entered, cautiously.

Muttering something incoherently, she quickly left.

"It will be hard," Rhys finally said when he was sure no prying ears were near the door. Az fixed his stare on the forgotten bread and glared at it as if destroying it would solve all his problems. "It will be hard but you have to stay resilient." Rhys said.

"I don't even know what to do to help her, Rhys, and she is my mate- I should be able to- to know-" he struggled to form a proper sentence to express himself coherently. Rhys gave him a look of sympathy. "You will get there, Az." He shook his head; he did not deserve her.

Rhys, as if hearing his thoughts, took two strides towards him and held him by the shoulders. "You deserve every single drop of happiness. You deserve to find happiness and you deserve love," Rhys said, his voice getting softer and softer by the end.

A tear formed in his eyes. He nodded. He would do whatever it took to be worthy of Eve. His mate. Rhys gave him a moment to orient himself before he removed the shield he had placed around them for privacy. A footstep sounded- an all too familiar one- and Az was instantly out, heading to where the sound had now stopped.

******

Eve rolled in her bed. After spending days in here, she wished for nothing but a fresh start at a brand-new place. But, for that she would have to interact with the people in the hall- and she did not know if she could bring herself to do it.

No one had pestered her yet but, it was only a matter of time before Rhys came asking- or Amren- about the tattoo she now sported on her right hand. Curiosity would cling and claw upon them till they got their answers from her. She was thankful though, that they were giving her space.

Finally, after much debating and staring out the window that gave her the view of Velaris' streets, she got up- a bit wobbly. A wish had popped into her head while she had observed the people of Velaris bustle in the streets and she hoped it would help her- she only had to convince the Inner Circle now.

Filled with the sudden urge to use the energy that had been pent up in her for days, she made her way to where everyone was celebrating. Her sandals thumped against the marble floor and a pin-drop silence ensued as soon as she entered, her chin up bravely even when her eyes scrutinized the floor' plain design.

Someone barged from the opposite door- the one that led to the kitchen and the next moment Az was beside her, asking her if everything was alright- a foolish question everyone knew the answer to. He then asked if she needed or wanted anything. She nodded and for the first time in days, she uttered a sentence.

"I want to leave."  






HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Happy reading! 

XOXO,

the amazing author 

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