Destined

"From dusk till dawn"

Ailis watched me carefully. "You remember, huh...?" Her eyes lowered to the ground. "I was hoping, you forgot", she muttered.

Indeed, I had temporarily forgotten, just like the fact, that she herself was a hybrid. But not like Gaisgeil or Amarin. She wasn't a creature...but something else. Unlike Amarin and Gaisgeil, she couldn't transform into her creature. She had only characteristics of the Creachadeir  like her eyes or her height. 

She had hoped, I'd had forgotten, what she told me on our first encounter. Why? Was it a secret? Three summers ago, she was a careless girl who spoke openly in front of me. Now she wasn't that naive girl anymore but a grown up woman. And as such she wanted to hide the truth. Because the truth about her origin was a secret that had to be kept? 

"Yes, I remember Ailis and I promise, I won't tell anybody, if that's what you are afraid of." I faced her reserved expression. She was pale and looked a little shaken. I was sure ....it was so obvious, Ailis had something to hide. My eyes turned to slits analyzing the slight fear I traced on her features. Fear, but not for herself. SHE WANTED TO PROTECT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE.

Her hands grabbed a strand of her hair, twirling it nervously. If I wanted an answer, I'd had to put a little pressure on her. I felt bad about it, because I would manipulate her to reveal something she wanted to keep hidden.

"Did you know, that the man your brother killed was a creature  living as a human?" Ailis froze at my words. Slowly she bent her head in my direction, her eyes wide.

"He...he... w... was?", her trembling voice asked. My eyes pierced her shaking body. In that moment I knew,  she would break.

"Yes, Amarin was half Daonnachd half Cuan. But not the Cuan we know ... he was so much more, a better version, stronger. Perhaps even stronger than Gaisgeil." There, I put the bait out for her. Now I had to watch my prey snap shut.

„Nobody is stronger than Gaisgeil", she mumbled. The tears began to roll down her cheeks, gut wrenching deep sobs followed. My heart hurt for her. I made her cry like that.

She threw herself in my arms, crying her heart out without reluctance. "Oh Callida...he was our hope ...", Ailis bawled. I let her, I knew, she had to let it out, so I only stroked her hair like a mother would do to her child. Something deep was in front of me. I only had to reach out and grab it. 

Amarin and Ailis knew each other. She said "he was our hope". Whose hope? Who were „they"? What kind of hope? I couldn't make out the whole puzzle. A few pieces were missing. The whole picture was still veiled.

I watched her cry and sob. And I understood...this was real. This was grief, she was mourning Amarin. Did she love him? Perhaps they were in some kind of relationship? What connected them? 

"Ailis, did you love Amarin?" I felt how she stiffened in my embrace. She rose her head. Her uncomprehending eyes searched mine. "Love?" I nodded. Ailis shook her head.

"No, Callida, you misunderstood", she wheeped. "Yes, I loved him, dearly, but not like you insinuate." 

It was devastating to watch her pain, her desperation. Theos, who was he to her?

Ailis face morphed into a mask of pain. "Callida, he...he was ....our brother", she whispered. A chill went down my spine. 

"Whose brother? Yours...and ...who else, Ailis?" Although I knew the answer, I needed confirmation. 

"He killed our brother ...oh... Theos....Gaisgeil killed our brother, Callida, he killled him wihout knowing." She slumped in my arms, sobbing her heart and soul out. I was paralyzed.

This was horrible. Gaisgeil killed his own brother!? Ailis, Amarin and Gaisgeil were siblings! But how...? How could they be siblings?

Gaisgeil killed his brother cold-blooded without guilt, without a conscience, a scope for his actions. He didn't know! And if he had known, would it have made a difference? Did Amarin know?

„Did...did Amarin know?" Ailis shook her head. „No, nobody knew, except me and Consilius."

Consilius? How was he involved? This was crazy. I couldn't believe what my ears heard.

„He is our uncle, the brother of my mother." Oh...yes, another information my brain repressed. Ailis could read minds. So she knew where I aimed with my thoughts the whole time? 

„You read my thoughts?", I asked, but she shook her head again. „It doesn't work if I am emotionally agitated. I have to be calm. I just read your face." I nodded in understanding.

What a mess.!!! Secrets and riddles wherever I turn. Why all this secrecy? Why didn't Amarin grew up with her and Gaisgeil? Why did Consilius entrust Ailis information he held back before Amarin? As for know, Ailis needed to calm down. This emotional turmoil took a toll on her.

Gaisgeil, my destined. How should he live with this sin? To have the blood of his sibling on his hands? After all, he had a conscience too under that hard armour of strength. Gaisgeil ...my heart went out for him.

I kept cradling Ailis in my arms to calm her down. Her sobs turned lower and lower...until she fell asleep in my embrace. I withheld my own emotions although I wanted to give in and cry too. 

A shadow suddenly fell on us. My head whipped around, ready to defend us against all odds, only to be met with the sad face of Senan, the son of Sapientis. He was holding his index finger on his lips, indicating to keep quiet. Silently he took Ailis in his arms and carried her in a bridal style., stopping suddenly.

"We heard everything, Callida. He is outside the door." My eyebrows furrowed. Senan's serious expression, his sad eyes, left no doubt. He meant Gaisgeil...he heard.

"Help him, Callida, you are the only one who can." With these words said, he took Ailis and left through the door, leaving it open.

I watched ... waited. Maybe, maybe he would come for me. Maybe he needed me. As no sound was heard, I got up slowly from my seat, put the books and documents in my bag and dragged myself to the door, my body and mind weighing me down. 

Automatically I stepped outside the library, took the key out of my coat, put it in the lock and turned it twice around. Than... I halted in my steps.

There, on the ground next to the door, sat Gaisgeil, his head leant gainst the wall, eyes closed.

I stood still, only gawking him. He didn't do anything, not a single move ...just sat there. This giant of am man, a mountain, sat there, sprawled legs on the floor, helpIess. An overwhelming feeling came over me. One thought:

I want to feel you close, be with you from dusk till dawn. I'll be with you when things go wrong. 

(Listen to the song, it'll help to put you in the right mood ...)

I put my bag on the floor and sat myself slowly on his lap, embracing his upper body, smothering his face with kisses. I stroked his face, kissed his closed eyes until I felt two strong arms engulf me in a hug.  

"I killed my brother, Callida. I did many cruel and horrible things...but this?" And than ...he cried and I held him.