"You Have To Let Go"

422 26 0
                                    

I heard his pounding heart in his chest, the fast beats testifying his fear of loosing me.

„My love, how could you be so foolish, so careless", his tender voice repriminded, kissing my temple. 

A groan was heard in the hall. „I get whiplashs witnessing your constant bickering, fighting and making up. For the sake of my poor heart, make up your mind finally," Ronan's mocking voice requested.

"Sh, you big oaf, shut your mouth. Don't interrupt their moment together. Aww, look at them: the big dark badass and the little good sweet innocence", Yrina mocked in a kind way.

Gaisgeil and I turned our heads to our friends, smiling their way.

Ronan rolled his eyes at Yrina, snorting her way. "And I am the big oaf here?" Ai slapped his arm, shaking her head with stern eyes playfully.      

I laughed silently, while sniffing my destined. His unique smell calmed me and turned me on at the same time. I couldn't resist it. 

Again Gaisgeil made the first step, showing me openly, how much he cared for me. There was no denying it. I knew, we had to stop playing silly useless games, and act like the destined we were, trusting each other completely.

No longer did I need a proof that his heart beat only for me, like I was the only girl he ever loved. I understood now, that my self-doubts led to a circle of events. I should have made up my mind weeks ago. Either quit him for good or live with his past and the bag he brought into our relation and future. He made mistakes, but me too. 

I decided in that cave to stay with him and I told him, that I would accept his child, his past, no matter what. But on the first occasion I broke my word. And Gaisgeil should have been more open, telling me everything without holding back. I know now, he wanted to prevent triggering my jealousy, but it led to exactly the opposite. My jealousy and self-doubts spiraled up. The more he held back information, the more suspicious I got and my mind played wicked games with me.

If I wanted to be with him, I had to stop punishing him for his past, a past, I had no part in. A past, where he was alone and free to live his desires. I wasn't a judge to sentence him for his way of living, for his morals. 

„I love you, my destined. From now on I'll stay by your side, come gehena or high water. I'll be there. I accept you with all your bagage, with all your faults and edges. I swear, I do."

His watery eyes told me everything I needed to know. The next instant his lips were on mine, a sweet and passionate demonstration of his love for me.

„Callida, before you came, I lived a toxic life. And although, I was envied for that life, I felt utterly alone and hollow. You brought me joy, light and happiness. For the first time I felt love, a selfless love, for somebody. I want to protect you, to soothe your pain, to make you happy. And I promise you, I won't keep my shitty past from you anymore. I only beg for your mercy. Be kind with that asshole I was in the past. Don't judge him to harsh. I..I didn't know better than, mo ghaoil."

I watched him, saw the honesty and fear of rejection in his eyes. My destined! My heart went out for him.

His gasp made me stiffen. 

„What? Gaisgeil?", I asked in alarm. His round eyes took me in, as if he saw me for the very first time.

„Your eyes, Callida...they are hazel-green", he whispered amazed. He watched me in awe.

I touched his face slowly with my fingers. "Now I understand. It was all about acceptance, true commitment. Two souls bound forever as destined. This was the reason, why my eyes stayed yellow, " I whispered in comprehension.

Gaisgeil gave me feather light kisses on my eyes, my brows, cheeks and mouth. 

"Now you are really mine", he muttered between his kisses.

"This is nice and all", the cold voice of Ceallach intruded like a sharp knife into our happiness. "But you are a kjerring, Callida. In Nefaria we get rid of kjerrings because you are a pest, an evil. Your powers can destroy us."

Gaisgeil went stiff. Slowly he let go of me.

"Touch her and you die", he growled animalistic and threatening.

I saw the hurt in Ceallach's eyes and for a short moment - a very short moment - I pitied her for her unrequiered feelings.

I touched my destined's arm, rubbing it up and down lightly, trying to calm him down. He were here in Nefaria, outnumbered, he couldn't start a war. My attempts to calm him, worked. Gaisgeil relaxed, his tension slowly fading.

He exhaled deeply, than searched Ceallach's gaze. 

"I didn't mean it, Ceallach, I wouldn't hurt you, but don't threaten my destined. She means the world to me...and I might forget, that we once were bound, if you keep up your charade."

Ceallach's face contorted between pain and grief. But than her features hardened again, showing nothing else than hate.

"GUARDS!", she shouted suddenly. 

Ronan and Gaisgeil nodded at each other as if they had a plan that was now going into action. Ronan turned around and nodded to Conor and the Islendigur men. 

But what could they do? They were unarmed. It was a rule, to give up the weappons, before meeting the baillif.  AND we were outnumbered.

Gaisgeil took my hand and began to drag me in the middle of the Islendigur.

We saw 20 guards run over quickly, swords in their hands. 

"STOP!", a male voice shouted. Our eyes snapped to Ainmire. He stalked his way to his twin sister.

"Ceallach, I watched you turn into this cruel, cold-hearted woman you are now. And I kept my silence. I didn't intervene, didn't try to change you...because I knew, that's what our father wanted for you. To be cruel and self-centered."

Ceallach eyed her brother incredulous. 

"I am sorry, I turned away and left you with HIM. I am sorry, I hid away. But I am here now for you. Always! Don't you remember, Ceallach? How afraid we were of him? How we comforted each other after his 'educational measures' to toughen us up? How we would crawl at night in each other's beds, afraid he would come for us in our nightmares?"

Ceallach paled, her lips wobbling. Ainmire's face softened. He stroke her hair with his right hand, as if she was a little girl, who fell on her knees and needed comfort.

"Oh Ceallach, I am so so sorry, I left you with him alone. Please, forgive me", he whispered, but we all heard clearly his words.

 He hugged her, whispering words in her ear. She rested her head in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes.

We all watched, not knowing, how to react to this siblings drama. The guards stood around as clueless as we were. 

"You have to let go, sister. He was never yours and you know it. You are wondeful and one day, you'll find your destined, I am sure. Don't destroy the happiness of others because you are bitter and miserable."

"WHAT THE GEHENA IS GOING ONE HERE?", a booming voice thundered through the hall. 

Keallach stood there, taking the scene in front of him in. His cold eyes rested on Gaisgeil. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gehena= Old Hebrew= Hell


As always, if you liked the chapter, please press the star! It would make my day!

This song always makes me sway my hips, dancing like a maniac. Listen to the lyrics, than you know, what Callida wanted, why she was so jealous...and in some way vengeful.

DestinedWhere stories live. Discover now