𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭, 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 » 𝐩 𝐨 𝐞 𝐭 𝐫 𝐲

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲

it starts with a fading body image
then you start looking at the composition of foods and
avoid sugar and fat like plague at all costs
and whenever you're starving,
all you can think about is the food off-limits
but you can't give up, not yet
and then you start exercising more times than
you brush your teeth
it's ironic how you keep looking in the mirror,
but don't find you in the reflection
all you see is a product of anorexia
at this point, you’re just living for the praises
the voices in your head just won't fucking shut up
chant “god, you eat like a pig" and
“you should probably eat a little less” to yourself every night before sleeping and after waking up in the morning like a mantra
you’re constantly reminded of the fact that you’re not enough
so, why should you eat enough?
will you ever be enough?
your once luscious locks now start thinning and falling out
once glossy skin is now just pale
numbers and calories consume you
your google history now full of “how to lose weight” and
“how many calories to burn in a day”
killer headaches, strength as weak your heart
It feels so good to earn your food,
but do you really deserve to eat,
If you don't look like one of those instagram models?
you just wanted to lose some weight
but you ended up rupturing your soul
in the end
congratulations, you are now clinically diagnosed with anorexia nervosa

~pearl