Sage ➸ Carl Grimes

14 ➼ dainty fingers

{ I See Fire by Ed Sheeran }

Sage

It was relief that had stricken me. Relief curled down my skin and seared through my hollow heart. Relief was something I found rare, and I could feel it exhilarate my doubtful mindset.

I dug my fingers through Carl's heavy, brown hair. I bundled it into balls in my palms, and my head fell between the crevice of his shoulder. I was on my toes to fulfill the hug, and melting into his shocking embrace secured me.

Carl nestled his head in my neck, and I could feel his hot breath fan my ear. His arms laced around my hips, and mine roped behind his neck. He didn't say anything; he didn't need to.

I was holding Carl Grimes, wondering why life gave me these chances.

Life plummeted the moment the dead resurrected. Leaving behind family and living with my sins, I lost hope. I lost faith in what life's sole purpose was. Life offered me nothing but what I thought I didn't deserve. But I did.

And though it brought me hell; life also brought me Carl Grimes.

Life threw me challenges and threw me hardship and threw me knives, but it also threw me a blessing. It offered me a boy who I was given the chance to discover. Carl Grimes had layers and levels and complications; he was complex. He was a gift handed to me from life to unravel. I almost ended my miserable soul, but life gave me second chances with Carl. I didn't deserve second chances. They were for fairytales, and I was no princess.

Even if he's afraid to love you, he's still allowed to care. And despite your stupid reasonings; he came back. Carl Grimes will always be back for you, and you can't manipulate these chances. Life only has so many stocked for you, and you're docking them out.

"I'm sor..." Carl started.

"Don't," I stopped him, holding his head a little tighter to my shoulder.

He was going to apologize. This boy was going to hold me close and say sorry, but he did nothing. It was I who should have apologized, but I could not find the right words. I was ashamed.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel-"

"Carl. Please, don't say anything. You don't need to," I cooed inside his ear, assuring. He squeezed me tighter.

"I missed you," Carl admitted, his voice deep and shy. I could already foresee the redness of his cheeks, but his nose was nestled into my neck. He hid.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you, Carl Grimes. I'd be lying if I said I thought you'd come back tonight. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the feeling of your arms, and how much I didn't miss them.

"You look sick. Restless," he whispered into the lobe of my ear. I felt his tired lips touch the skin, and I shivered.

"Because I am," I smiled sadly against his neck, and I could feel his, too.

Carl pulled us from the hug, to where I could study his face clearly. His hands held my waist for a second but he caught up with reality; flinching them both away. Though we were inches apart and the darkness burned through his eyes. Blue greeted me lovingly.

"Let's go put you to bed," Carl offered, hushed despite the still house.

"What are you gonna do? Tuck me in?" I challenged teasingly. "I'm a big girl."

"Doesn't mean I can't help you," Carl smirked, laughing lightly. His shirtless stance seemed more frequent now; and as I looked down, I realized I was still wearing his baseball styled shirt. Carl bit his lip and followed my eyes. I blushed, liking him better without one.