in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you

05

 When my mom gets home from work that evening, she comes bearing handfuls of chinese takeout.

"I hope you're both hungry because I brought lots of food!" she says, smiling brightly. "Also your father and sisters are out at Kristine's soccer game so it's just the three of us tonight." I silently thank her because a Kloss household family dinner is not what Taylor needs right now. Not that my family isn't nice but the questions and loud jokes would be a lot for anyone to handle.

"Thanks mom! Let's eat!" I say, pulling Taylor up off the couch with me. We both walk into the dining room to take our seats. I give Taylor a reassuring squeeze under the table when I can sense her nerves about my mom.

"Thank you Mrs. Kloss" Taylor says quietly.

"Honey, you can call me Tracy, Mama Kloss, or anything you like" My mom says, easing any remaining nerves I had about them getting along. Dinner goes smoothly and we all laugh and joke around. Taylor is the most comfortable I have seen her since I met her. We clean up the dishes and head up to my bedroom.

"Your mom is so nice. I can't even remember the last time I ate a civilized meal with either of my parents." She comments. I feel a pang of guilt for forgetting how abnormal all of this is to her. To me it is just another evening.

"She really likes you too. I can tell." I reply with a smile. I know my mother would protect Taylor like her own daughter.

"I'm glad. I don't want to be a burden to your family. Just let me know if there's any way I can be helpful or if you need me to leave or anything." She says back.

"Taylor, listen to me when I tell you that you are not a burden nor would I ever make you leave. I don't really know what your family was like but you're safe with us." I do my best to make sure she knows I mean every word.

"Thank you Karlie. I really truly appreciate it." She responds sincerely. We both work on some homework for a few hours since neither of us did anything productive today.

"I'm going to grab a glass of water, would you like anything to eat or drink?" I ask, getting up from my messy pile of papers.

"Water would be great! Thank you!" I walk downstairs to the kitchen where I find my mom sitting and reading her book.

"Karlie, can I talk to you for a second?" She questions.

"Yeah of course mom"

"Please don't let this girl get hurt. I know you wouldn't but don't let your feelings get the best of you until she's healed. She's been through a lot and she's clearly hurting right now." My mom had apparently noticed a lot more than I thought she did. As much as I wanted to deny my feelings for Taylor, I know my mom is the only one I can confide in.

"I know Mom. I promise not to do anything stupid that could hurt her"

"I know you won't sweetheart. Also be careful with your father. I know he hasn't exactly been accepting of you coming out and what not. He will come around but for now you can always talk to me."

"Thanks Mom. I won't keep secrets from you" I say walking over to the pantry. I grab a pack of Oreos and 2 glasses of water. I jog back up the stairs to find Taylor curled up on the ground sobbing.

"Hey bub, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice filled with concern as I sit down next to her. She doesn't respond and instead pulls me closer to her. I pick her up and put her in my bed as I curl up next to her. I have so many questions but I will have to wait until she is ready to tell me. I take what my mom told me seriously. I know things are going to be slow and careful with her for a while.