The Broken & Curious Start [REWRITTEN]

4. Loner Thing

Chapter Four.

 Archer's Point of View:

[PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT]

There are moments when I am in the shower, when the water is pouring out of the faucet and clashing against the surface of the bathtub—- when I think of sinking into it and never come back up. Those thoughts are the very worst parts of me yet most honest I am with myself. They are the reason why staring at myself in the mirror is like swallowing razor blades.

There are moments when I am in a room filled with variety of chitter chatter, a room filled with smiling faces and gleaming eyes— when I feel completely and utterly lonely. The kind of lonely that you feel when your eyes won't shut at night when the clock is reading three in the morning and everything in the house is so quiet but your thoughts are screaming so loudly.

You shouldn't feel that kinda of loneliness every moment of every day.

So why do I?

My eyes scan the paper filled with the sad girl's confession. I read over and over again, seven times, and each time I'm swallowed with astonishment that she was able to express her sorrow so visually and beautifully. How could someone like her be this sad? How could I have known her for almost a year now and not see how sad she is? When I read this it's like she was screaming out for help and everyone ears, including mine, turned deaf to them.

It also made me feel some kind comfort to read that I wasn't the only one who had sleepless nights. I, too, yearned to understand what people meant by a full night rest. Rest seemed so foreign to me most nights.

"What are you doing?" Alice comes up from behind me, her fingers sliding down my chest as she kisses the side of my neck.

I quickly close the journal, not wanting to break my promise to Anastasia and place it in my backpack. "Just doing some reading."

"What are you reading?" She inquires and I turn around to meet her beautiful blue eyes.

"Some sad story," I tell her, not wanting to lie to her but also not wanting to give her the full truth.

"Do you want to come over today? I have to do some gardening with my mom but you could hangout with Stasia until I'm done." Her big eyes stare at me with hope-fullness that I could never object to.

"Sure," I nod and her smiles widen.

"I saw you and Stasia talking at her party. Did she decide to open up to you?" She ask as she sits next to me at the lunch table.

I think back to when she was talking to me in her room and living room, staring at me with this stare that most times left me feeling odd yet safe. She gave me her full attention when her eyes met mine, like no one else was there, and when she wasn't looking at me she was giving me her full attention by listening closely to me, like they were so important to her.

I watched her do this with everyone she talked to, but it made me feel sort of special.

When I got home that night I immediate searched up idiosyncratic and I couldn't help but laugh at the complex way she told me I was unique person in her eyes. She was just a different soul and spilled all over people the moment she conversed with another. I got an insight of why her family and friends looked at her with enthrall eyes and rooted for her serenity.

"No, not really." I shrug.

"She's always so closed off from everyone and it scares me sometimes. The only time I ever get to see how she feels is when she decides to put her writings in competitions and they never make me feel better because they're always so dark." Alice sighs, taking one of my fries from my tray.