Aang and Katara - A Wedding Tale

Chapter 15: Azula

Yesterday
Azula's Point of View
"Come on Azula I herd about your talents. You slayed the Avatar, in the Avatar state!" He taunted. I was not about to give him the satisfaction of a response. It had been a long day and a half and I was not about to let this brute ruin my efforts to start again.

He bent the earth beneath my feet, launching me up into the air, slamming my back against the girder. Winded and bruised, I fell to the cold and unforgiving floor. Spirits that hurt.

"That was another time! She's changed." Ty Lee added, helping me back on my feet, giving me a small smile. I didn't need her to answer for me, but something about it softened my insides.
"Yeah. I'm different now. I'm good now!" I yelled, hoping that by doing so would make it true.

"Well as far as I heard, you were still under lock and key, in that mental asylum. A prisoner just like your father was." He added, throwing yet more rocks at me.

He was signalling me out. I was his target. I was the weakest link. I was the teams liability. I had never been the weakest link. I had never been the teams liability before.

"Come on Azula! You as much as a criminal as I am. You are a prisoner because of the very people you fight beside!" He yelled, throwing yet more rocks at me.
"That's not me anymore." I added meekly, wiping the dust of my face.
"You should join me!" Rocks pounded my sides. "The daughter of the most-"
Rock to the stomach.
"That's not me anymore!" I yelled throwing a fire whip at him. He dodged it with a smirk.
"-tyrannical-"
"Stop!" Rock to the face. I felt the blood seep down my cheek. He had drawn blood. No one had drawn blood before. He would not get away with this!

Spirits what's happening to me? I'm losing control. No! No, not again! This is what he wants. I'm falling in his trap!

"-monster-"
"Shut UP!" I screamed, as I lobbed a fireball at his head. It was large. Sloppy.

I'm losing control.

I look at Ty Lee. She's the only hope I have left. I need a nod. A smile. Anything to know I'm going to be okay.

She doesn't look at me.

She's scared.

She's been burned.

No. NO! No! What have I done?

"-the world had faced in a generation. You were never destined to be good, Azula. You have no hope of a redemption. You are as much of a monster as he was!"
"I TOLD YOU THAT'S NOT ME ANYMORE!" I screamed. Tears streaming down my face. Tendrils of my hair limiting my vision. I collapsed to the floor. Everything erupting in blue flames.

I can't stop it.

"Ty Lee get her outer there!" Someone yelled. Ty Lee scooped me in her arms.

"That's not me anymore!"
"Hey Azula. I'm here, it's okay." She added in a soft voice, finally bearing to look at me.
"That's not me anymore. That's not me anymore! That's not me!"
"I know that. I'm here," she gave me that small smile. It felt safe. "I'm here. I got you."

I reached for her check, tentatively brushing against her burn. Her face crumpled at my touch. "Its okay... You - you weren't in control. Its not your fault."

It was then I knew something had to change. I'd hurt her and there was no going back.

I had to leave.

Present
I was back in my dark room. The red walls with the Fire Nation symbol were supposed to offer me some stability. Memories of a quieter time. All they did was mock me. Whispering my war crimes to me as I tried to sleep. Reminding me of my past.

I looked to where my mirror used to be. I needed to see I was still here. That I was still me. I never could though. It was decided long ago that I couldn't have a mirror.

"See that Fènnù? She's back!" The symbol taunted.
"Aye Zhémó. She's finally realised who she is: one of us!"
"No! That's not me anymore!" I yelled, these voices had shut up only a year ago. I thought they were gone. That they had found a new sole to torment.

But they were back.

I need to get out of here.

Luckily I prepared for this years ago. I reached below my bed for my secrete box. In it held a few small paintings I had done in art therapy: one of my family - my good family, another of my friends and a few of me and Ty Lee; it also had the friendship bracelet me, Ty Lee and Mai made when we were 5; a few peaces of jewelry; and some of mother's things I secretly kept; a key I had stolen a few years ago. I took it so I felt like I was here out of choice. That this wasn't a prison. That I was in control of something, if not the thoughts in my head. That if anything bad happened I could leave.

However a few months later, when I was better. When I was in control. I realised I could get out for the right reasons. It made everyone so happy seeing me better than I ever was.

And now...

I'm going to leave them.

"Your still that selfish child. Leaving when things don't go your way." The walls whispered.
"That's not me anymore..." I whispered. But I knew what they said was true.

Knock. Knock.

I whipped the key under the folds of my blanket before they could see it. No doubt it was a guard sent to 'check' on me. I didn't need babysitting.

"Hey Azula. I heard you talking to yourself..." She began, her eyes darting around the room as if she were actually looking for the right thing to say, "I just wanted to say I'm here if you need to talk. I got reassigned to guard you. Zuko thought it would be best if I were the one looking out for you..." Finally her eyes settled on the stolen key at my side, and her expression dropped. "And you escaping aren't you?"
"I need to go Ty. I can't stay here. Not when I'm constantly reminded of what I did. Who I used to be. Where I don't know who I really am. Please, let me go." I begged. I was not about to fight her to get out. I couldn't do that to her. Not after spending 6 years building our relationship back up.
"You know I shouldn't let you go. There's a reason your here: you need to get better." She took my hands in hers, bringing us closer as she looked into my eyes.

All I could see was the fait outlines of the burn mark on her cheek. It had been healed, but it wasn't enough to make it disappear.

"You're so close! You could finally have the life you wanted! If you just stay, I promise I'll help you more, I'll make sure no one hurts you again, I'll..." The desperation in her voice broke me.

I need to go.

I need to.

"I need to get out of here. Things aren't going to change if I'm trapped in this room. I need to go Ty." I added gently, praying she understood. I don't want to make things worse between us. She gave me a small nod, not bearing to look at me, before stepping to the side. "I'll come back when I'm ready." When I'm the person you deserve.

Later
Aang's Point of View
"Um guys. Where's Azula?" Sokka asked, as he stared at the wall.
"No one knows. She escaped from the hospital earlier... I didn't think she would do this anymore." Zuko added.
"You don't say." Mai replied bleakly.

In front of us, on the innermost ring's wall, directly north of the Kings palace, wooden planks lit in blue fire spelt out, "Down with Fire Lord Zuzu." A small crowd had gathered, few claimed to have seen the anarchist. They claimed she wore rich, Fire Nation clothing. They claimed she had black hair, arraigned in messy bun. They claimed she had a cold hard smirk. They claimed she shot blue fire at anyone who approached her.

They claimed it was Princess Azula.