Be careful with my heart || Chanhee Centric

10

Chanhee was getting weaker as the weeks go by. His health was slowly but surely deteriorating. Sure, he felt happier these past few weeks with Juyeon, Kevin and Hyunjun always dropping by, but no one can deny the fact that he was slowly dying.

With no way to intake solid foods, Chanhee's already thin body became even thinner. He looked like a skeleton. His body looked like it would break with the slightest gush of wind. But no one can do anything about it.

The three boys would do everything in their power to make Chanhee forget about his situation. It turn, they too forget that their friend was on the verge of loosing his life. But they can't be with him everyday.

In his days at the hospital, he has had the time to think about anything and everything. There was nothing to stop him from having these thoughts. As he laid on his hospital bed, he stares at the ceiling and slowly tears up.

'Is it really worth fighting for my life when it seems like no one else cares?'

'Why do Juyeon, Kevin and Hyunjun care so much? I'm not worth it..'

'Do the other members even care? Would they ever care?'

'Will I live long enough to hear them apologize and love me again?'

Unlike when he was in the dorm, there were no distractions to cut off his thoughts. He would get annoyed at times when something would happen in the dorm but, he hates it more when he has the time to let these thoughts resurface.

None of these thoughts were worth thinking of and yet, these were the thoughts that wouldn't leave Chanhee's head. All of his doubts and insecurities would resurface and plague his mind; there were no members to stop him.

No one else knew of Chanhee's condition. Not even Jacob knew. The less people that know, the harder it is for the media to catch up with what was happening. The 2 month vacation was almost up and yet, none of the members bother checking up on him.

He couldn't blame them, I mean. Why would they bother checking up on him when they hate him and not know of his situation. No one seems to utter his name in the dorms, according to Kevin and Juyeon. That hurt the boy so much.

There was around a week left to the last month of vacation and he still won't be able to go back to the group. His formal hiatus was about to be broadcasted to the whole world and he hopes that Deobies won't feel too bad.

Chanhee wanted to talk to the members, he really did. But with his current situation, he couldn't face them the way he wanted. They'll pity him; he didn't need pity. He needed forgiveness and reconciliation.

If they saw how vulnerable he actually was, his vulnerability would cloud their real feelings and judgment. He wished for their apology to be honest and true. He rather have no apology than a fake insincere one.

Kevin has told him that with whatever Jacob did, the members seem different. "Apologetic," Kevin said. "I think they finally know what they did wrong. Maybe they'll apologize soon?" Chanhee just hopes that he would live long enough to hear it.