Brighter Than The Stars: Book One

Alternate 2.7

Both Elijah and her father were on the ground for a good fifteen minutes; five of them spent crying, and the other ten spent regaining his bearings. By the two came back in the house, any proof of the ordeal had been erased from their bodies. If Madeline hadn't seen it for herself, she never would have known anything happened at all. 

Her grandfather asked for a confirmation all was okay, her grandmother and mother went back into kitchen to work on dinner together, and her aunt and cousin stared at the two men for a few moments, then went back to the basement to tend to the kids. Elijah went straight spoke a few words to her father, then went upstairs and collect their things, then her dad went into his office to print off the address of the hotel.

Elijah was quiet as he came back downstairs with their bags, taking them directly to the car. Then he went right back to being quiet once he told her they were all set to go. The silence remained until halfway through the drive. 

"I didn't mean to scare you, Maddie."

Madeline blinked back the tears that had been slowly building through the last twenty minutes, and continued staring out her window at nothing in particular. "That's twice in a row."

"Twice in a row that I've scared you?" Elijah asked. 

Madeline shook her head, not knowing if his eyes were on her or not. "Twice in a row you've called me 'Maddie'. Last night you said 'Maddie' was your best friend, but that we evolved into something more. Something worthy of my whole name. Now 'Maddie' makes me feel like I'm being demoted to a neighbor you wave at when you're both getting the mail. At this rate, I won't even be M&M by the time the weekends over. I'll just be 'M' sound or a grunt."

A heavy sigh filled the car before it turned to park on the side of the road. "Look at me, M&M." When she shook her head, Elijah's hand came to rest above hers. "Please?" 

Madeline pinched her eyes shut, a few of the tears falling against her cheeks, and turned before looking at him again. 

Elijah was already facing her, and licked his lips before he spoke. "Madeline is a woman I've shared a bed with every night with almost two weeks, and wake up holding like there's no tomorrow. She's the one I can't stop looking at, and can't help but touch. You're my dream catcher, not just because you've kept the nightmares away, but because you replaced them with dreams of you. Ever since you came back into my life, until last night, you're all I dream about.

"I meant what I said to you this morning. Every morning we wake up next to each other, it's felt like we were fated to become this. But outside your parents house, and right now, I'm scared shitless that I'm about to lose my best friend because I can't figure out how to fix myself. I've dreamed of Madeline, I wake up next to Madeline, and last night I had sex with Madeline. But I've been fighting this anger in me, not just for myself, but in the hopes of having Maddie back in my life. That's what I've been working on for twelve years, and back there, it felt like I've been fighting this battle I was never meant to win."

Elijah turned away then, keeping his eyes ahead at the passing vehicle's on their way to holiday gatherings. "I'm not used to all this, M&M. I'm not having a woman in my life who'd I do anything for. Being emotionally invested, ready to kill or die for her, wanting to protect her from all the dangers in the world, including me. The only time I've ever been in an actual relationship, I woke up to my hands on her throat after she tried shaking me out of my nightmares. That's what fucking happened, Madeline. You don't want to see it, but the truth is I am one of those dangers in the world, and it's always been my job to protect you. 

"I'm fucking in love with you. That 'can't stop thinking about you, imagining up our entire future, craving a lingering look or touch' sort of love, and I don't know what to do with that. It freaks me the fuck out, because I've spent my entire adult life wondering if I was even capable of feeling that. But as much as it scares me, what scares me most is losing that best friend I've spent twelve years fixing myself for in the hopes that someday I'll be worthy of the other sort of love she's always had for me. If I lose her, if I lose Maddie, I lose fucking everything."

Madeline had no clue what she was meant to do with that. Somewhere in that jumbled mess, he'd admitted he was in love with her. He said the damn words. They were surrounded by other words meant to warn her. It all just felt like one giant hailstorm of fear and adoration, and Madeline's mind wasn't sure where to look first. 

"I don't expect you say it back right now, Madeline. In fact, I'd rather you didn't. I just needed to say it out loud. But what I need you to understand is I need all of you." Elijah turned to her then, his green eyes filled with so many emotions, she struggled to focus on even one of them. "I need Maddie to be a friend to me, and stand by my side as I work through all of my shit. She's the strength I need to fix myself. I need my dream catcher to make me feel like I'm not fighting this losing battle. I need my M&M, because her smile has always made my world a little brighter. And I need Madeline, so I feel like I'm fighting for a life I can only have with her.