Hi, how are you? Nice seeing you here again.
I didn't proof read my b I'm too lazy for that shit
TW: bc ik some stuff I mention can trigger some ppl, also SH😕
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"Pretty sure that's not how it works." I told Zoe as we pack our bags for Berlin. "Has Billie seemed...off to you lately?" She asked, catching me off guard.
"Yeah, and that's why you needa hurry." I gave her a right lip smile before heading to my car. You know I shouldn't really be talking to people like that.
What did Zoe do to me? I rubbed my temples and sighed. She opened the passenger door and got in. "I'm sorry." I leaned my head back and looked at her.
"It's ok I get it, don't worry about it." She smiled at me. As I was gonna turn the car on Billie called me.
"Hey!" She said cheerfully. "Hi baby." I smiled back. "I'm here too." Zoe made her presence known.
"Hi Zoe!" Billie said in the same tone. We talked about random stuff until Billie had to leave. I turned my car on with a heavy sigh.
"Let's do this shit." With that we were on our way to the airport. "What lies are you gonna tell her when she facetimes and you don't answer?" Zoe asked a very good question.
"Fuck if I know." I chuckled lightly. I guess I'll figure it out when the time comes. Blah blah blah we went through security and soon we were on the plane.
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*Billie's POV*
"Billie, you ok?" Mom asked from beside me. God I hate meetings. I simply nodded with a small smile to seal the deal.
After the interview mom asked me a question. "Are you taking your meds?" "Yes mom." I answered and with that I went to my room, just like every other day.
Am I actually taking my meds? No. But no one has to know. They know. I mean I don't see the point.
I've lied about it to my parents face to face and trust me I feel guilt, but saying it to Zaidee and Finneas is somehow harder.
What do I say when they find out? Yeah I'm saying 'when' because I know they will. Like I've said before I can't keep nothing to myself.
Tour feels lonely. I crave physical touch at all times even when I'm home. Zai gives it to me and I always want more. It's as if I wasn't satisfied.
Oh also have I told you my parents are acting a little weird. I just wanna see my girlfriend and I can't see her for another month.
The little voice inside my head is still there. She always has and always will. Should I be concerned about it? No.
Hmm I'll leave it for now. Oh god I need sleep. I quickly changed and put on a smile. Time to go do some famous girl shit.
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*Zaidee's POV*
"According to my calculations we'll get there a little before her show in Berlin right?" Zoe asked.
"Yeah I think so." I responded. Let's skip to the part where we land because the plane isn't it. There's a crying baby. I almost threw it out.
Mama Maggie got the driving situation handled. Twenty minutes before getting to the hotel room I got a text from Finneas.
'Billie just went to her room🙂'
I texted back saying thank you. My caregiver side is extremely worried right now. My hands are shaking and I can't stop them.
You know how littles have a space, caregivers also have one. Where they feel the need to take care of someone.
As a caregiver I know when my little is lying to me. I always know when she lies. Trust me I don't blame her but I hate when she does that.
Now usually she would get in trouble for lying but in this case it makes sense. Of course I know she stopped taking her meds.
I would have to sneak the pills into her food because she never wanted to take them. My leg was bouncing the whole ride as well, and I was biting the inside of my cheeks.
Just as our ride was ending I tasted iron. Fuck I'm bleeding. Did I stop? No, I kept biting the inside of my mouth.
We got out and security took our bags. Now so people don't find out we're here we had to sneak in from the back. We decided Zoe is gonna be the second surprise so she went to her room.
"Hi." "Hey Fin." We quickly hugged as we met in the middle of the hallway. "She won't open the door and we don't have a key." He said.
I scoffed trying to keep calm. "She hasn't came out in hours and she's the only one that has a key." I tried to make sense of the situation.
"Basically." Fin said. "Hmm." I blew air out of my nose and clenched my jaw. Trying to suppress the panic I pace around thinking of what to do.
Now, I know Billie. She's not gonna open the door, the voice is too strong. Do they not have spare key cards in the lobby?
I will break the fucking door if I have to. "Fin I need you to go to the lobby and ask for the spare key card. Or find a way to open the fucking door. This is your sisters life we're talking about, we don't know how much she's done." I said making eye contact so he understood everything I was saying.
He left to go do what he could. I texted Maggie and Patrick, in a matter of seconds they were standing next to me waiting. I just know Maggie has the ambulance on hold. (Is that even a thing💀🤚🏼let's say it is🙄bc it's my book)
Finneas came back with a key card. "The amount of convincing and lies it took." He panted with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.
"Thanks." I took it from him patting his back. I opened the door quickly. The window is closed, she's not in bed so the last option is the bathroom.
"Fuck." Opening it as fast as I could, there she was on the bathroom floor. Limp. Blood seeped from her wrists and legs. I checked her pulse. Shallow.
Like I said earlier Maggie had the ambulance on hold. "They'll be here soon." She said containing her tears.
Hugging her daughters body. I looked around looking for the object she used. Razor. Haven't seen one of those in a while.
Patrick sat beside them comforting his wife and hoping their daughter will be ok. Fin paced around outside the bathroom.
I was holding Billie's bloody hand with tears streaming down my face. I can't help but feel like this is my fault. I feel like I failed her. Hope she'll be fine.
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You see these purple souls😈😏😏
Anyways is she gonna die😨😱oh my lordy lord we'll see🤭🤫
Thanks for reading😃
I love youuuu💜
Almost forgot😅
*forehead kiss*😚
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