You Remember Me, Right?

Chapter 17

Jesse, before he could even reach the group, was met in the middle by Beca, her eyes gentle as she outstretched her arms in front of herself. "Wow, Mitchell. I didn't even have to ask for a hug this time," he joked, earning a slight smile back. He clasped his hands over hers, pulling her close.

 

"So it's over," she asked, looking up at him. Jesse turned around to see Aubrey talking to a group of friends. She looked like she was engaged in the conversation, smiling at all the right moments, but he could see her reactions were delayed by a slight second. When she looked up, their eyes met. It wasn't any big gesture, but Jesse wordlessly understood. Aubrey smiled a little as her eyes diverted to Beca before returning to his once more. It was really okay. It was weird that they were being so cordial. She seemed so understanding, more so than he could remember her being over the past few months.

 

He was sad, of course he was. There were memories, amazing memories, that he could never forget. In the beginning of their relationship they had fun. They watched movies at his house, took strolls in the park, and tried to hide their laughter in the library. The honeymoon stage was wonderful but as quickly as they grew closer, they grew apart.

 

The thing was...he was sad but he wasn't depressed. He wasn't going to go home and sulk and watch movies for days like he did after his seventh grade girlfriend dumped him via text. Jesse wasn’t going burn all the things she gave him or give her a death stare every time they made eye contact in the hallway.

 

He wanted to be mad; he thought he was going to be mad. If someone had asked him a week or two ago what he would do if he saw Aubrey close to kissing another guy, he would’ve said he would punch the guy out. Actually, probably up until he saw her and Uni outside his answer wouldn’t have changed. For a moment he did feel his fists clench, the blood rushing through his veins. His eyes narrowed and his stance was a little more looming, but still, he relaxed after a few seconds.

 

It shouldn’t be like that, right? As a boyfriend, you should be terribly angry if you caught your girlfriend cheating. It was just the sight of the two of them together. Maybe it was because he already knew that things were going downhill. It could have possibly been he just needed to witness the physical sight of Aubrey with someone else to understand how distant they had grown. All that Jesse knew was that his anger shut off like a switch, quickly changing to a sense of acceptance.

 

It was his time of realization once he saw her reach her own. His relationship with Aubrey had been such a strain in his life. Interactions with his friends and her had been so forced. He could tell that both parties were not very enthusiastic about being around the other. They made it work for awhile, but making it work wasn’t enough anymore.

 

Being together wasn’t enough. They were both in other worlds. He was focused on one thing while she was always focused on another. Life just couldn’t go on in such a mundane way. Jesse was always the one for true love, sitting inches away from his television as a young boy to watch the prince fall in love with the princess.

 

For as long as he could remember, he wanted to find that princess. Jesse wanted to walk the earth, searching high and low, until he found that person. He wanted to sing that girl cheesy love songs and fall asleep with her under the moonlight.

 

Whenever he had dated, he fell hard. The girl became his everything. She would be the one he would text in the late hours of the night when he could see the sun peeking out from behind the trees. He would plan romantic dates by the water or attempt to cook her favorite meal.

 

The problem was, his kindness was always taken advantage of. In fifth grade when he was dating Alison Williams she bossed him around until he didn’t have a chance to do anything for himself. That relationship ended when she moved to the next town over, and Jesse couldn’t have been more ecstatic.

 

In seventh grade, Josie Kruz stomped all over his heart when she broke up with him via text. Their relationship had grown strong. Both she and him were at that age when they were beginning to view the opposite gender as potential friends, disregarding the cooties they once believed in. He gave her a big, candy heart for Valentine’s Day and she gave him her phone number. That night, Jesse had sent her a text, asking her to go to the movies with him. A week later, the two of them were exiting the theater, laughing about how funny their favorite actors had been. Before running off to her father’s awaiting car, she had given him a peck on the lips before blushing and disappearing into the darkness. Jesse had spun around in joy, trying to hide his smile the rest of the night from his parents. Too bad she wasn’t the one. Soon enough, she got tired of going to the movies with him, deciding to go to the park with Anthony Adams instead.

 

Aubrey had been the third and last girlfriend he had had. For awhile he had thought that it was true love. Maybe it was, who could tell? She was kind, sweet, and generous. He disregarded her attitude towards other students in school, telling himself that she was just having an off day. He looked the other way when football players put their arms around her as they laughed together down the hallway. In Jesse’s mind, everything was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

 

It felt terrible to say, but in some deep part of him he felt relieved. He didn’t have to worry about the tension that was bubbling to the surface every time he saw her. Jesse didn’t have to try to hide his phone whenever he got a text from Beca. Most importantly, Jesse didn’t have to pretend to others or to himself that he was happy.

 

So maybe he would never meet his princess. His six year old self would have been very disappointed, but life bursts the fairy tale children make out their future to be when they know nothing of reality. He might never have the perfect wife or the perfect children, as he had wanted when he was younger. Jesse might have to give up his ideal life of a white picket fence, a golden retriever, and 2.5 kids, but he was okay with that. He kinda liked when things got messy. As he got older he realized that challenges are good and change could be positive.

His princess may never be a reality, but Beca Mitchell did look pretty good when she playfully placed the plastic, prop tiara on her head when posing in the photobooth with Chloe and Amy.