A LONE SOUL

Back To The Present Day

The next day, I found myself struggling to keep up with my classes after a night filled with dreams and memories that left my mind exhausted. My thoughts wandered, and I even found myself forgetting what I was teaching at times. It was clear—I was losing my grip on reality.

But amidst the chaos of my thoughts, there was a sense of relief to be back in the present, despite the nightly turmoil that plagued me since my arrival in Delhi with my children.

My marriage, arranged by my parents but rooted in love, had faced scrutiny from relatives who refused to accept our union. Despite warnings from my father, I followed my heart, unaware of the challenges that lay ahead. Born in the 80s, I straddled the line between tradition and modernity, navigating deep emotions and relationships in a world that was rapidly evolving.

For girls today, relationships were more casual, with sex often viewed as a physical need rather than a sacred bond. But for me, the sanctity of love and commitment overshadowed any modern notions of casual encounters. Covid has changed the whole routine and has altered the whole existence of day. Earlier the schedule that was been followed and to be honest that kept us engaging was suddenly altered in the face of pandemic.

As I prepared tea, a call from my principal interrupted my thoughts. Her warmth and concern instantly put me at ease, and I eagerly shared my recent experiences with her. Despite the awkwardness of discussing my marital status, she offered her support and promised to visit me that Sunday.

True to her word, she arrived, and the sight of her familiar face filled me with joy. We reminisced about our school days, laughing and smiling as we recounted old memories. But beneath the surface, I carried the weight of my troubled marriage, and her presence offered a glimmer of hope in the darkness.

Over tea, I opened up about my marital struggles, recounting the early days of my marriage marked by alcoholism and abuse.

My thoughts lingered in the depth of pain and agony that I went through all these years. Least to mention was the trauma of going through appendicitis and removal of ovary that developed cyst. My gynae in the beginning told me that excess usage of birth control pills and continuous stress was the main cause of unbalanced periods which eventually was diagnosed as the cyst. Although the situation was totally different since the doctor who operated me for appendicitis called my husband and informed him that what he was considering as the cyst is not the same instead my whole ovary was ruptured and was internally bleeding and it might cause removal of the whole uterus and in cases may develop cancer. The doctor advised the removal of my right ovary which my husband agreed to and I was operated without my knowledge of what was done to me. No second opinion was being sought as it might have costed a lot of amount and so the decision was made in haste.

Each painful memory poured out, and my principal listened with compassion and understanding. Her reassurance and offer of help brought tears to my eyes, and I found solace in her unwavering support. She not only consoled me but gave direction to my thoughts and paved the way for my future ahead. The suggestion came a sense of relief and I decided to talk to my husband for a mutual consent divorce that would suffice all the problems at once. To my childish thought I never imagined in my weirdest of dreams that he would ever deny to it since his relation with me was nothing but a social image that only I portrayed and others imagined.

With my principal's husband's contact and information in hand, I felt a renewed sense of determination to end my marriage and reclaim my life. That night, I slept with a newfound resolve, knowing that with her guidance, I could finally break free from the shackles of my past and embrace a brighter future. She was determined to help and explained how it was a blunder for me not to seek divorce amidst such cruelties that I suffered all these years. After so many days, I spoke without hesitation and some one listened to me without judging or making any harsh remarks quoting that this was my mistake and after all my decision.