As the days passed, I found myself sinking deeper into a pool of conflicting emotions. On one hand, there was the memory of Zahir, his warmth, his affection, and the fleeting moments of happiness he brought into my life. On the other hand, there was the stark reality of my marriage, the pain, the abuse, and the suffocating sense of hopelessness that seemed to permeate every corner of my existence.
I knew I couldn't continue living like this, trapped in a cycle of despair and neglect. I needed to find the strength to break free from the chains that bound me to a life of misery. And yes Zahir was that strength that supported me through this.
With each passing day, I found solace in my work, pouring myself into teaching and helping my students navigate their own challenges. It was in these moments that I felt a glimmer of hope, a sense of purpose beyond the confines of my troubled marriage.
But despite my best efforts to focus on the positive, but the stark reality of my situation made stretched me far away from happiness. Zahir's messages, though infrequent, served as a reminder of the happiness I once felt, igniting a spark of longing within me.
One evening, as I sat alone in my room, the weight of my emotions became too much to bear. Tears streamed down my face as I grappled with the painful realization that I deserved better than the life I was living.
In that moment of vulnerability, I made a decision – a decision to reclaim my life, to assert my worth, and to pursue the happiness that had eluded me for so long.
With newfound determination, I began to take small steps towards independence. I opened up to Juhi, sharing the darkest secrets of my marriage and the depths of my despair. In her unwavering support, I found the courage to confront the truth and take control of my destiny.
Together, we discussed the horrible future that awaited me with open hands – there was no way to leave behind the toxicity of my marriage and embrace a future filled with possibility and hope since my kids were along with me in the same pit as I was. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew that with Juhi by my side, I could face whatever challenges lay ahead. Somewhere in my mind I was assuring myself that whatsoever the consequences will be, I am going to take a firm decision as soon as possible before it is too late for me to draw my kids out of it.
As the days turned into weeks, I slowly began to distance myself from Prabhas, no longer willing to tolerate his indifference and cruelty. I focused on building a support network, reaching out to friends and family for guidance and assistance. No one was ready to support me for everyone said,
"What is left in your life, it's been 11 years now, adjustment is the only way out".
I kept on discussing it with my close friends and few colleagues who knew what I was going through. But nothing seemed to favour me. And then, one fateful day, I made the decision to talk to Prabhas directly about it. I decided that I am going to keep forward the idea of staying apart. i will tell him that I am going to shift to Delhi with my kids and he may visit me weekly and can meet the kids. I thought that he might agree since he was growing hostile towards me in all the possible ways. My online free classes have earned me few connections which was offering me good job and high salary. With all my courage I reached out to him, "I wish to leave".
"Of course you can, leave the kids and go wherever you wish to".
I am going to take away my kids, but I have no issue if you wish to visit them once a week".
His tone changed and he started abusing," My kids will not leave this place but you can".
a fight that started with discussion turned into physical violence and i was beaten brutally. My left ear swelled up and I had multiple bruises that left me in excruciating pain.
The events of that fateful Sunday shattered any remaining illusions I had about my marriage to Prabhas. As I conducted an online class, Prabhas erupted into a fit of rage, shouting and hurling abuse while holding our crying daughter. My microphone was still on, broadcasting the chaos to over four hundred students from across the country.
I was mortified as I watched students leaving the meeting, some leaving behind crude and hurtful comments. The humiliation was unbearable, and I knew in that moment that I could no longer continue to endure the toxicity of my relationship with Prabhas.
With a heavy heart and a resolve born of desperation, I made a decision—I would confront the situation head-on, no matter the consequences. As Prabhas approached me with a knife in hand, I refused to cower in fear. Instead, I stood my ground, my voice steady as I issued an ultimatum.
"I can't do this anymore," I said, my voice trembling with a mix of fear and determination. "Either you stop this madness right now, or I'm out of here by tomorrow. I've had enough of this constant abuse, and I'm not sticking around for more."
There was a moment of tense silence as my words hung in the air, the weight of them sinking in. I could feel the intensity of Prabhas's gaze on me, but I refused to back down. I had reached my breaking point, and I wasn't going to let fear hold me back any longer.
As I stood there, waiting for his response, a sense of liberation washed over me. I had finally found the courage to speak up for myself, to demand the respect and dignity that I deserved. And no matter what happened next, I knew that I was taking back control of my life.
In that moment, I made a choice—a choice to reclaim my dignity, my self-respect, and my right to a life free from fear and oppression. And as I stared into the eyes of the man who had brought me so much pain, I knew that no matter what happened next, I was ready to face whatever came my way. I held his hand and forced it toward myself but in an instance he drew the knife and ran downstairs. that was the night, last night of pain, suffering and agony. I talked to my uncle who was well aware of what I was going through all these years. I called my parents and informed him about my decision informing them that I will be leaving for Delhi tomorrow and they are free to decide whether they wish to stand by my side or not. Next morning at 6 in the morning I went to the transport area and booked a truck. With a heavy heart and a sense of trepidation, I gathered my children and whatever belongings I could carry, and I walked away from the prison that had held me captive for far too long. My parents arrived at my place by 11:00am. Prabhas had already left the place early in the morning to escape the consequences. His mother was sitting in the room and was speechless, speaking nothing. His elder brother was in his room in a drunk state. My parent observed their hostile behaviour towards me and my kids leaving the place and took me to my uncle's place. My pet dog and my rabbit were my companions in this journey ahead into the unkown but one thing which I was sure of that the days of pain, suffering and distress were over.
As I stepped out into the unknown, I felt a surge of liberation wash over me. For the first time in years, I was free – free to chart my own course, free to pursue my dreams, and free to embrace the boundless possibilities that awaited me.
And though the road ahead would undoubtedly be difficult, I knew that with each step I took, I was moving closer to a future filled with love, happiness, and endless potential.
YOU ARE READING
A LONE SOUL
General FictionThinking of past and a sudden turn of events in the new phase of life shook the very core of her heart. With every single event that passed and that was happening made her more of a relentless fighter that she had recently began with the world. Wi...
