A LONE SOUL

First Meeting With Zahir

The next morning in my present state in Delhi, I woke up feeling unusually calm and composed compared to the rest of the days filled with relentless thoughts and worries. As I reached for my phone, I noticed a WhatsApp message from Zahir which instantly brought a smile to my face. He inquired about my well-being and my children, accompanied by two missed calls. It felt like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds after days of darkness. I messaged him back, asking him to call me when he was free, looking forward to hearing his voice after so long.

The anticipation of his call made the day feel relaxed and hopeful. It's fascinating how certain people can become so integral to our lives after just a chance encounter. I reminisced about our last meeting in August, recalling his warm smile and nervous demeanour as he stumbled into his friend's room where I was waiting...............what a day it was!!!!!!!!.......................

Zahir's gaze lingered on me, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of beauty and love in his presence that I hadn't experienced before. His genuine compliments and affectionate gestures made me feel cherished in a way I had never felt with my husband. He sat near me and held my hand, " your face is so innocent. I thought you would look mature since you have two kids,"

I smiled, and drew closer to have a look of the man with whom I was feeling so connected, after such a long period of time. He gently kissed my forehead and held me closer to his heart, his hold came with a sense of relief the t I experienced after so many years. It seemed to me as if a spark ignited within me, illuminating a world that had felt dark and lifeless.

Holding me still in his arms he politely said,
"you might be hungry", I nodded without a word as if I never wanted to part away from that heart beat which was ringing in my ears like a church bell that though loud in voice soothes your soul. We shared a meal together, and I found myself lying in his lap, feeling safe and at peace for the first time in years. His gentle touch and comforting presence lulled me to sleep, and when I woke, he was still there, watching over me with a tenderness I had longed for.

But amidst the newfound joy Zahir brought into my life, there lingered a cold reality—I had received no calls from my husband, no inquiries about my well-being or whereabouts. It was a stark reminder of the loneliness and neglect I had endured in my marriage. Zahir sensed my melancholy and changed the subject, suggesting we go out for lunch. As we drove to a local restaurant, my mind wandered back to another painful event that wrote another chapter of my life filled with trauma. Prabhas, who seemed kind and loving, had left a lasting impression on me during my college days.

The memories flooded back, reminding me of a time when life felt simpler and full of possibilities and I endured every obstacle without giving it another thought. Driving through the lanes of one of the posh areas of Delhi, I was reminded how he visited me often and I was compelled to bunk my classes that affected my attendance and stopped me from even appearing me in one of my semester exams. How hostile my collegemates grew towards me when they realised how I was wasting my life towards this newly found escape that distanced me from the far realities of life.

I remember tearing my bond one by one from each and every person who suggested me of the consequences and gave suggestions. I totally ignored my studies and became more devoted towards the live in relationship that kept on fostering in the rented flat where my college days were proved to be limited and my desire of becoming a graphic designer committed suicide. Those days were the days of making career and establishing my art and creativity which I ruined in forming a relationship that was baseless and vague.

Those were the days when I was even reminded of how I was been bombarded with the past physical relationship of Prabhas with one of his cousins, which seemed a weird story at first but later to my horror was proved to be true. Everything I put aside for that man whom I loved from the depth of my heart and with whom I visioned my happy and peaceful life which never turned out to be the same. I was tortured, beaten, abused verbally, mentally and physically and was being deprived of the status of wife............Prabhas never took me anywhere, neither parties nor marriages. We didn't attend any function of ceremony together in eleven years of companionship............

But now, with Zahir by my side, I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, happiness was within reach.

After a delightful lunch, Zahir offered to drop me home, despite his busy schedule. The drive back was serene, accompanied by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of the evening sky. As we crossed into Meerut, I felt a sense of gratitude for the unexpected joy Zahir had brought into my life.

Back at my friend Juhi's house, I couldn't contain my excitement as I shared the details of my day with her. The blush on my cheeks betrayed the happiness I felt, and as I recounted each moment spent with Zahir, I couldn't help but feel hopeful for the future.

As I closed my eyes, savouring the memories of our day together, I knew that despite the challenges that lay ahead, I was ready to embrace whatever life had in store, as long as Zahir was by my side. May be I was being too hopeful but what other choice do I had. A tormented marriage had left me with nothing............meeting with Zahir brought light to my life. I felt wanted and I realised that I too was beautiful and worth admiring.....................

Prabhas ignorance was even sensed by Zahir. He too questioned me about no one giving me a call since I was out into a different city. I had not given reply for his questions pierced my heart and evoked me with the sufferings of the past.

Even after toiling for days and hours I was never asked about my day or my health or whether I had eaten anything. I was being ignored ruthlessly and was responded in a hostile way. Even on days when I was not well, I was being forced to bring pleasure to the man who never thought of my desires and emotions. His cruelty grew to an extent that I was afraid of his presence around. A shiver of horror crossed my mind when suddenly a voice echoed around, "so finally we are here".

Dropping me at a square, Zahir took a u turn and drove away. I stood at one side kept on staring at his white Creta until it disappeared into bustling traffic of the surrounding. I took an auto and decided to visit Juhi rather than directly visiting my house.....i wished to share this happiness that I longed for so long, with someone closer to my heart and Juhi was the only one in the entire city who knew what I have been through and how worse my life was.