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𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝.
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ONCE THE SELF PITY SET, JOSIE ALISTAR WAS BACK ON HER FEET.
Well, as much as she could be.
It's after her fight with Matthew. Josie was back to attending regular Mass at Saint Agnes — she had been there before Matt had, she reminds herself. She was an orphan, first.
She was excelling in her job, hanging out with her best friend Megan, and living life. Josie Alistar was doing good.
But the problem was that to be this good, Josie had to unravel a lot about herself. There was a lot of herself intertwined with Matthew Murdock — as happens when one has pined and loved and held on to another as long as Josie had.
One of the most difficult conclusions Josie came to was that her younger self was plagued with guilt.
Survivor'sguilt.
It happens, she guesses, when a little girl survives a fire that kills both her parents. Logically, she knows it's not her fault — she was a four-year-old, neglected, and she didn't know how stoves worked.
She was hungry. Her parents were unconscious. Not sleeping.
But at the end of the day, it's Josie that lit that fire. The one who turned the knob, lit the match, set the cloth on fire — it spread so fast Josie didn't know what to do.
She didn't know how to work a phone, she shouldn't have been left alone ...
But Josie lit that fire. She burned that apartment, and when the firefighter pulled her burned body from the mess, she wrapped her arms around their neck, and she didn't say a word about the two people in the master bedroom.
And maybe... maybe that explains why she latched onto Matthew. He was an orphan, like her, plagued by something and couldn't find a way out, either. Josie thought that if she could love Matt, and all his guilt, she could eventually get the love back.
