It Was Mariella Sienna

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"How are you doing these past few days? Are you still having trouble sleeping?" When the doctor asked that question, it didn't feel offending or heavy giving it an answer. I looked at the screen of my laptop and slowly a smile appeared on my lips. This was the first time that I didn't feel uneasy talking to my doctor. There are times that I'm stubborn to answer, but this time, I feel like I want my feelings to be told with the truth.

"Well... I'm doing good, Doc, which is really weird. I don't know why, but I guess it's a good outcome of cutting ties with things that give me so much trouble. And whenever I'm going to sleep, I don't feel heavy or afraid at all," I said quietly with still a smile on my lips. Even though I was only talking to my doctor online, I want him to be aware of what I'm feeling these past few days.

Weird, that's what I called it. I feel like a different person and I think that's because I did the right thing, which is lessening the things I'm having a hard time with. Everything seems so peaceful, day or night. Well, I'm happy that things are going good, but I'm still bothered that what if this is just temporary?

"Really, I'm doing well. Would you consider that as a good sign or improvement?"

He was taking notes of what I'm saying and I saw a smirk appear on the corner of his lips. "This is a fresh start to you, Sienna. I will consider this as a good sign, but it doesn't mean that I will be complacent. I still have to monitor you," he said.

"I understand. Mas mapapadali naman ang monitoring mo kapag pumunta na ako diyan, hindi ba?" Nakangiti kong sabi.

"Oo, pero hindi naman kita minamadali. Sabi sa akin ni Aliyah may tinatapos ka pang project bago pumunta dito at nabanggit niya din 'yung pag-iisip mong tumira dito sa England nang permanente."

When he mentioned about me having thoughts of permanently living in England, I remembered that I decided it already when I was having a hard time. It was an impulsive decision back then, maybe because I was so overwhelmed, but I think I just decided the right thing to do.

Siguro makapag simula talaga ako kapag tuluyan na akong lumipat sa England. Para sa sarili ko naman 'yun. Wala naman sigurong masama kung may gusto akong tuparin para sa sarili ko.

"I have that in mind already. It's just that nung pumunta ako sa England, naging mabuti 'yung pakiramdam ko. Malayo kasi dito e," pagdadahilan ko.

"If that's the case, you have to work on things first before settling here, like your company."

I nodded. "Mapagkakatiwalaan ko naman si Aliyah. Actually, siya din ang nagbigay ng rason para magdesisyon akong tumira nang permanente sa England. Siya ang bahala sa kompanya."

I'm not taking anything for granted. I just want this recovery to continue. Maybe living there would be the best decision, but just like the doctor said, I still have work to do before settling there.

Gusto ko du'n kasi malayo dito... Malayo sa sakit. 'Yung lugar na 'yun ang nagparamdam sa akin na puwede palang mawala sa bokabularyo ko ang sakit at ang makaramdam lang ng ginhawa. Gusto ko ulit maramdaman 'yun at kailangan ko lang maghintay bago tumuloy. Tatapusin ko lang ang project pagkatapos nu'n aalis na ako.