soundproof.

CHAPTER 21

i didn't want to update yet because people are in school rn because of time zones but i can't not update to save my life

NICKI POV

I woke up still in Beys arms, this is the happiest I've ever been. I turned around in her arms and looked at her sleeping face.

Usually when we cuddle I'll wake up to her on my chest or something but she was actually holding me this time.

It felt nice to be held like this instead of holding her. I have no problem holding her or being little spoon, she likes it.

She's really the girl of our relationship. The man too, I don't know how she does it.

I didn't know if I should wake her up or not, I don't know what time she went to sleep at but I don't like being awake by myself.

I noticed she doesn't sleep much anymore. I don't know when she does go to sleep because I always fall asleep before her but any time I wake up in the middle of the night she's awake.

There's a lot of things that I want or need to talk to her about but I haven't found the right time or place to talk to her about it. The fact that she's always smoking, her lack of sleep, and her possibly being on drugs.

I should've already talked to her but I know if I go about this the wrong way she's just gonna blow up on me and leave.

After some of the things she said about her mom I really don't believe she could be on drugs. Or maybe that would make it more of a reason for me to think that.

It just doesn't add up. Why would Solange get mad at her for smoking of Bey has always been smoking? But she literally told me herself she was scared of turning into her mother so why would she go and start taking pills?

But also when her and Solange were arguing in Houston, Solange was very specific about a bag of pills she found. It wouldn't make sense for her to make that up about her own sister.

I already know how I get about Bey and I know I never hold her accountable and I'm already making excuses for her in my head. She's my baby.

I was so confused and I needed answers, I just didn't know how to get them.

I was bored so I pecked her lips until she started to wake up.

"Stop kissing me with that nasty ass breath."

Yup. She's back.

"Fuck you. Dry ass lips, I didn't want to kiss you anyways."

She smiled with her eyes still closed and pecked my lips.

"Goodmorning wife." She still wasn't opening her eyes for whatever reason.

"It's too late to try and be nice now. You set the mood already, you can get slapped."

She pulled me on top of her and pecked my lips. "You still need to brush your teeth, come on."

She stood up with me still in her arms and carried me to the bathroom. I got out of her arms and got my toothbrush.

We started brushing our teeth and we made eye contact in the mirror. I don't know where this sudden change was but this is the Bey that I'm used to.

This is why even after everything, I'm still with her. I know who she is and who she can be when she's in the right headspace. She's just struggling mentally right now.

After we finished she picked me up again and basically threw me onto our bed. "Bey stop throwing me around before we box."

"And I'll beat your ass, don't play."