ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋɪɴɢ sᴘᴏᴛ

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Cassy took the elevator to the building's parkade, unlocking her car with her keys when she stopped short. Schmidt, Jess, Winston and Nick were all standing around the parking spot next to her car, staring at the concrete.

"4D." Schmidt said loudly, grinning at the spot. Cassy raised an eyebrow as she went over.

"What's happening over here?" She asked.

"Look! We have a parking spot!" Schmidt said excitedly, pointing to the ground.

"Uh huh. It's right next to mine." Cassy said, raising an eyebrow. "4C." She gestured to her car, directly next to the empty parking spot. It came with the lease, so they should have known about it, but judging by their reactions that was not the case.

"So who gets the spot?" Winston asked, staring at the concrete. All four of them began claiming it at the same time. Their voices began to overlap, and Cassy raised her eyebrows.

"Give me the spot or I'll kill you all!" Schmidt cried, chest heaving as he clenched his fists. All of them went silent, staring as Schmidt breathed heavily. Cassy decided she'd much rather witness this then go to the grocery store. Besides, they had food she could eat.

The five of them walked back up to the loft, sitting down at the table to discuss this like real people. Jess had appointed Cassy as the mediator, in case things got out of hand... again.

"We all have crappy parking." Nick pointed out.

"Guys, why don't we all share the spot?" Jess suggested. "We each have it for a day and a half every week, and then split Sunday into six hour shifts."

"Does it say "share stuff" in the constitution of America?" Schmidt asked, glaring across the table. Nick shoot his head. "No, it does not. Nicholas, what does it say?" He asked, gesturing to Nick.

"... Don't share stuff." Nick replied simply. Cassy shook her head, smiling.

"No one deserves that spot more than I do. Because lord knows I've done my fair share of... spot-worthy things..." Winston trailed off, becoming distracted by the beeping on his phone. Nick whistled to get his attention.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked.

"I'm sorry. Daisy travels so much and I work at night, so our sex window is like..." He trailed off again.

"I've lived in this loft as long, if not longer, than anyone. I have the crummiest room, I'm on 24 hour grout watch. I pay the lion's share of the utilities, do I not-"

"I refuse to pay for the wifi!" Nick protested, pronouncing it (whiff-ie).

"It's Wi-Fi." Cassy and Jess corrected simultaneously.

"I didn't even have to tell you guys about the spot." Schmidt argued.

"In all fairness, you probably shouldn't have." Cassy stated.

"That's not helping! And hey!" Jess replied, frowning.

"Why did I tell you guys about the spot? Oh, damn it!" Schmidt yelled, slamming his hand on the table. "I'm the dumbest boy in school!"

"As the only woman in the loft-" Jess began.

"Don't play the lady card." Schmidt said.

"I will play the lady card." Jess replied.

"Race card." Winston said, raising his hand.

"Lazy drunk card." Nick raised his hand.

"Deserves-the-spot card." Schmidt stated, frustratedly.

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