Two-faced

- her confession -

I've been fidgety this entire school day. I've finally decided to do it.

As soon as all the kids clear out from school to their dorms or club meetings, I wait in the hallway for him to come out of a school council meeting.

The office door pushes open and out walks Jacob. As soon as he spots me leaning against the lockers he smiles and waves.

Jacob Bae. The boy with a smile that washes my worries away.

"hey," He walks over to me.

"Hi," I say, clearing my throat.

"What are you still doing here?" Jacob asks.

"er- I actually... um," I shake off the nervous feeling, like I'm really nervous. More nervous than I've ever been around him. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Sure! What is it?" Jacob says.

I bite my bottom lip, telling myself to just go for it. Remembering what Jia told me.

"I-I like you." I say finally.

I stare at him as the longest silence lasts between us.

"Cha Daeun..." Jacob smiles at me, but his eyes are filled with somewhat regret. "I like you too. You're such an amazing person and I would be lucky to be with you!"

I watch him carefully with wide eyes as he falter for a second.

"... but I'm sorry. We can't be together." He finishes.

My heart drops. I feel tears threatening to stream down my face.

"W-why? If you feel the same way?" I ask desperately as it feels like my whole world is crashing. I feel literally sick and the room spins.

"It would be selfish of me," Jacob says with a small smile, but I see the gloss in his eyes.

Why does he look so sad telling me this? Why is it selfish?

He doesn't let me ask any more questions as Jacob turns and walks away down the hall.

I stand there. Stunned and hurt. I've never felt such a stinging pain in my heart before.

Jacob rounds the corner and as soon as he disappears behind it I hear his soft crying.

I don't have the strength to run over and talk to him about this.

Instead I hear footsteps coming from behind me and I turn around to see Sunwoo standing there. His usual smirk fades when he sees my red eyes as I desperately try to not cry.

I expect him to ignore me or be an asshole like he usually is.

Instead he rushes over saying, "Woah what? Are you crying? You okay?"

"Stop!" I shove him away and he looks genuinely hurt. The tears built up too much and they fall down my cheeks at the worst possible time. Of course he's here right now. The one who confuses me and hurts me. The one I don't need.

"Why??" I manage through sobs. "Why do you care??"

Sunwoo grasps my arms and my knees buckle, I have no choice but to lean on him as I cry endlessly.

"Why do you have to care?" I hit my fists against his chest but he doesn't pull away. Sunwoo stays there while I sob about something he doesn't even know what. Despite me pushing him away. He's still here.

I'm mad at him. And I'm mad at Jacob. And I'm mad at myself, but I'm more sad than anything.

Why does love have to be so damn complicated??