A Tin Man's Heart (A BBC Sherlock Story)

You're My Whole Life

Now that Sherlock was legally dead, he had a lot of time to be alone. And bored, so very bored. Often times he'd find himself retreating into his Mind Palace to think, or just at least try to pretend everything was normal. That's where he was on this day in Molly's flat. He slept here sometimes and came for meals. Right now the ginger haired pathologist was at the morgue, working.

He was in the room full of Addison. He missed her something awful, though he wouldn't let anyone know. He'd divorced himself from his feelings but he just couldn't help but love the girl from the day she was born. The girl whom was supposed to be an experiment turned into his life.

He remember what she smelled like the first time he cradled her 5 pound and seven ounce body in his lanky arms. She smelled of baby lotion, vanilla, and something musky like cigarettes. Although that was understandable because he'd just been out for a smoke. She reached up to place a tiny hand on his cheek and he found himself captivated by her.

It was the first time Sherlock Holmes had been utterly speechless.

He didn't know why or how. He reckoned it was some sort of hormonal or chemical reaction that knocked him speechless and bonded him to the child. He could ignore it until she got into trouble or was hurt or just whimpered a little bit.

He wondered briefly if this is what his mummy felt whenever she saw Mycroft or himself.

The first time it became clear that he'd do anything for the girl he was with Lestrade helping with a case at New Scotland Yard. The small Holmes was attached to Sherlock so she insisted he bring her instead of leaving her with her mother. So of course he brought her along.

She kept herself occupied by reading, she was ten and so curious about everything, so Sherlock left her to read. He went over the case facts with Lestrade and after he'd found an answer he walked out to find the chair that Addison had previously occupied was bare, and her book was lying face down on the cushion.

Sherlock didn't panic as most parents would, he sighed and squeezed his eyes shut.

He walked out the door and found her outside with an officer whom worked there. She was chattering on about how 'Her daddy was a detective' then she'd asked the man if he was a detective. The man said he was and she grinned.

"I think daddy found me, he knows everything! He's a genius!" The man forced a smile that ended up looking like a grimace. The little girl didn't bat an eye and waved goodbye to the man and skipped over to Sherlock and the pair left.

Sherlock knew he loved the little girl when he felt that little heat attack upon not seeing her. He'd scolded her for it during the walk home and the little girl nodded and apologized.

Sherlock pushed himself off the couch, thinking of her hurt a lot. He was missing out on so much. And she hadn't come to visit in a very long time.

***

Addison hadn't slept for a week and hadn't eaten for two days. She felt disgusting, there were bruises all over her and her lip was bleeding. She hated these stupid men for what they'd done. Kidnapping her and beating her and worst of all asking her for information she obviously didn't have.

They kept threatening John and kept reminding her that she couldn't save her dad when he jumped off that building. She wished they'd just killed her, but she could never get that lucky. She suffered. It'd been a week and she'd heard talk of sending John and Mycroft ransom notes and returning her. She hoped they'd just kill her.

When night crept over the city she was laying awake in her bed. She was waiting for Dawson to come in and, just like every night for the past week, rape her then once he was satisfied he'd leave. Addison usually retreated into the streets of her mind and hid in the dark corner of her childhood home and cried until mummy came to collect her and rock her slowly and sing oh so softly until she would stop whimpering, and once Dawson left she let her father's sobbing violin lull her into some state of rest but not completely alseep.