reader was a highly skilled neuropsychologist who worked for what used to be SHIELD. a couple days after the bombing in vienna, her friend and coworker, sharon carter, asks a favor of her: to relocate to wakanda in order to help treat and rehabilita...
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She startled herself awake, clammy chest and limbs sticking to her comforter. Her whole body was damp. Her chest, heaving. Jesus Christ. Her heart felt like it was just below her skin, rather than guarded behind a cage of bone.
To her dismay, the nightmares have been flaring up recently. Sometimes she didn't remember them, and just woke up scared or upset. But other times she did remember — parts at least.
Something happened high up in the government... the president or someone, she couldn't recall. The government and all order had collapsed and everything fell into chaos. In the dream, she was running through the street - towards something or away from something, she wasn't sure. Maybe both. But then the street wasn't the street, and it was a sort of open grass land. What she remembered most was the fear. And the toll on her body; her lungs burned in the dream.
She sat up and wiped the leftover tears from her face. God, waking up from these were so taxing, both on her body and her mind. With these nightmares, her body was having a fight or flight response of an animal being hunted while laying completely still. It was like waking up from a panic attack in her sleep. Or waking up from an emotional intensity equivalent to a breakdown. She's woken up from immense sadness, and occasionally anger. But mostly fear.
She also didn't talk to anyone about it - anyone professional, that is. Yes, she was a professional. Yes, she knew exactly what she would say to a patient experiencing the same things as her. However, she had become increasingly isolated during the past few years. And everything in her head was so much. It was a lot, and it felt safer inside her head. It felt like it was secure, like the cap on a bottle was screwed on and all the carbonation inside wasn't going to explode, bubble out, and make a mess.
She knew it was ironic, but that didn't change her lack of action on the matter.
A bit after waking up and calming herself down from the nightmare, she noticed an ache in the back of her head that was growing stronger. The head pain had been at a minimum lately. She wondered why it might be returning. She didn't have any injury, and she had been sleeping fine. She slept in pretty late, but it was only last night she was up late... talking to James. James. His image in her head provoked a smile in spite of her unpleasant awakening.
She thought he might actually be the most attractive person she had ever seen. Everything about him was... perfect - his face, his body... She remembered on the "date" that wasn't actually a date, she couldn't look at him for too long without worrying that her face was going to heat up.
In addition to that was this weird wanting she had. When she woke up, she wanted to talk to him about the nightmare; wanted to confide in him. Obviously, she thought it odd considering she only recently met him. But, that didn't make it go away.
