While he's gone...

To my Bfff

To my Bfff,

It's been 3 years since I wrote this story. It's been 4 since we got together. And it's been almost a full month since I went back to a place I call home.

I want you to know I love you so fucking much. I know I always try to explain how I feel about this place, and I know you don't fully understand. Honestly, I don't know if you'll ever understand. At this point, I've kinda given up trying.

You already know my entire past. You know about the things I try my hardest to forget, the memories that haunt me, and the memories I replay in my mind. You know how much I moved, all the friends I've lost and gained, and all the trauma and shit I deal with daily.

You know what I went through here. But you've forgotten the memories I've gained from here too. You've forgotten this is the place where I learned to perform fire. Where I gained friends that I somehow still am able to talk to today. Where I started on Wattpad. Where I've grown my own lil reputation with those close to me. The place where I'm not asked "what's fire performing" and am instead asked "what prop do you use?"

Like I wrote, it's hard to explain. I love you so much, and I don't want to lose you. But I also don't want to lose the place where I fit in and I love. I actually love going in to work, because of the people I actually work with. Yea, there's assholes here. But I actually love working with my coworkers.