SACRIFICE // currently editing!

thirteen, silence

CHAPTER THIRTEEN ━━ SILENCE
Sacrifice!          0213

( TRIGGER         WARNING ):
suicide and suicidal ideations!

TWO MONTHS. TWO MONTHS OF pure, unadulterated silence. Nearly sixty straight days of nothing. No phone calls. No texts. Not even a ghost of one of those extinct messenger pigeons. Two months of nothing but unnecessarily, violently loud silence.

This silence was ravenous like a starving monster. It clogged Jules's ears with dense cotton until the quiet was all she could hear; it consumed her thoughts twenty-four hours a day, and was seemingly hellbent on the cauterization and atrophy of her brain until there was nothing but a lump of ash left. She wanted it to stop — she needed it to stop.

But the only way for that to happen was for Rafe Cameron to talk to her. Explain why the bet was so important to his ego and his existence. It bothered Jules to an extent that she wanted to know the truth so badly, but Rafe fucking owed her that much.

Jules was living with Riley now. Her brother was the only person she had felt truly safe with since what happened at the beach. She had told her parents about moving in with her older brother when she was finally comfortable enough to go back home. As expected, Tate screamed and yelled, various threats slipping his lips. Laura didn't react. Jules wasn't sure which reaction was worse.

She's been living with Riley for those two horrifically quiet months, and she couldn't be happier. But she could be. If Rafe just owned up to his actions and let out the truth, let go of the lies, then she'd be more than willing to mend their friendship. Their relationship was a different story, though.

It was all a lie. She couldn't go through that again.

Jules hadn't seen much of her friends since that night at the Boneyard. It felt as if they had been avoiding her, though Sarah still kept in near constant contact with her. She never mentioned Rafe or what he was up to. She was careful to focus her attention on Jules and Jules only when they talked or hung out. And they never went to the Cameron's house to spend time together.

So they strictly went to Jules's house, where Sarah finally got to meet the mysterious older brother, Riley. The Carson siblings never disclosed anything about him to Sarah or any of the other Pogues. Too many questions and memories would be stirred up, many of which neither Riley nor Jules were ready to talk about just yet.

JJ hung out with her as much as he could. Which wasn't often enough. Probably four, five times in total. They spent some time on the HMS Pogue together and went surfing once, but nothing happened between them. As much as JJ wanted to make a move, he knew his friend was healing and needed time and space. So he gave it to her.

As for Riley, he was trying. He was trying so hard to make Jules comfortable and make her feel loved and appreciated, especially after not seeing each other for over five years. And Jules loved him so much for it.

In the humming silence of her room, Jules scrubbed at her face with both hands. She was shaking and could barely breathe. Her anxiety was at an all time high, and she needed to get out of the house; get away from her thoughts and the silence, and most importantly, get away from herself.

The girl got to her feet and hurried to get ready, despite fumbling about. She ran around her room in search of a couple CDs to listen to on her drive, then, after telling Riley she was going driving, she went for the set of keys in the kitchen to the SUV. She went out to the garage and hopped in the car.