Bittersweet | GonKillu

Carried x away (fluff)

Warning: soft fluff
----------------------------------------------

He still clung to me, then I sighed and unclinged him, "Alright- play on your phone or something" I dismiss him, climbing onto the bed and getting comfy, bringing out my own phone. I pull up Legends of Runeterra and begin playing. I heard a whine and Gon plopped down next to me.

"But Killluuuuuaaaaa- I want you to myself-" He pouted like a puppy, and I just ignored him, "Playing a game. Shoo" I dismiss again, and he just huffed and took my phone away, and I whined, "Hey my phone!" He just giggled and threw the phone across the room. I grumbled, damn drunk Gon is a handful. I was about to get up to go fetch my phone, but Gon abruptly sat on my lap and cuddled me- Oh great this was a cuddle trap.

"Gon I just wanna play my game-" I complain, patting his back but yearning for my phone. "You can play with me if you'd like." He said, and I froze. My whole fucking face turned red. No no noooo- Bad Killua! Dirty thoughts is what will get you hurt! I grumble, and Gon just hummed and cuddled me. Does he even realize what he said?

He pulled away from the hug and looked at me. I instead looked away in shame of my face pigment. He just tilted his head, "Why is Killu all red?" He pondered, and I huffed and didnt respond. Damn it he's cute... But no. "How about I make you feel better with a kiss? You seem upset-" He said with a smile, and I just looked at him, "Gon no your dru-" I was interrupted as he leaned foward and connected our lips softly. It wasn't a awkward kiss, but instead a sweet therapeutic one: like a comforting embrace. I could taste the alcohol still on his lips. I tried to pull away, this isn't right- I'm not going to use him while he's drunk to let him kiss me and not remember- the awkwardness afterwards would hurt my heart. He would only blame me for not stopping him, and our friendship might be ruined- Ok.. maybe that's a bit of overthinking but the bitter feeling of anxiety hung over me like a curtain still.

But to my dismay he stopped me from exiting the kiss, by placing both oh his hands on either sides of my head, and deepened the kiss while climbing onto my lap a bit higher. I was trapped, yes but this was... kind of hot? Damn it what does he think he's doing? I tried to voice my opinion, but my body just denied me the power to stop Gon. I shouldn't enjoy this... but yet I do. It feels so wrong though, but.. if its only kissing it's fine, right? I accepted that knowledge amd finally kissed back, placing my hands on his back. He noticed and smile into the soft embrace of our lips. He seems happy... that's all that matters.

After a few gasps of air to breathe, he just stared at me with a innocent smile, "I love you~" He giggled, and I looked away, "... No you don't Gon... Ok? Your just drunk... This isn't you... we are only friends, you've said so before... don't lead me on.. please..." I say quietly. He looked a bit offended, "No but I wanna show you I love you! Your the one who kissed back so you feel the same...!" He whined, and I just stood silent. He knows nothing of how I truly feel. "... Gon we should stop..." I said quietly not wanting to stop but... its for the best. He shook his head and brought his hands to my face and cupped my cheeks, "Please? Only this one time? Killua please let me try something- Then we can go back to whatever we were doing before-" He pouted, and I was still as red as a rose but nodded sheepishly. He giggled like a happy child and kissed me again with slightly more passion and flame; a small ember at the moment, but no matter it was ignited between us. Then there was something new, he licked at my lips; a suggestive gesture, but does he know what he's doing? This confused me initially- does he want to-...

I oblige curiously, parting my lips open for him. He seems content that I followed his request and brushed his tongue against mine slightly and I shivered in surprise, damn I guess he actually knows what he's doing- But this is still so wrong... But his taste was something that I could get drunk on. I dont want to loose myself in the moment and have our actions hurt us later... even so, I pushed my anxiety and worry down in myself and kiss back, our tongues locked in a beautiful dance. He felt so good... This is the first time I felt so safe... doing this. I loosened up, intoxicated by his scent and his taste. His taste was sweet like chocolate now, the alcohol complemented it into a wine chocolate- mature but neither the less passionate. I wanted more out of this, but wouldnt that be too much to ask for? This is the farthest we have went so far to date...

As we made out, he softly placed his arms around my neck and I do the same- This is just too good to be true.. Heaven could never make me feel this good, this safe, this peaceful, this Loved. I know that once this whole thing is over and he's sober, he wouldn't know about this but... I'm too happy to let this go. After a moment or two, he pulled away softly, and I felt a bit disappointed by the lack of his taste now, my lips yearning for his with a ever growing need to feel that safe again, that peaceful. That was good while that lasted... I stared into his dark chocolate amber eyes, dark pools of loving hazel. Then I noticed something- wait- he's blushing? It's only slight, but being this close to his face I now realize- Gon's face is a bit red, it might be the dim amber light from the light above us shining onto his tanned features, but.. it also may just be that he is every bit infatuated as I am.

I was about to comment on that, but he out his finger to my lips to quiet me, "... Shhh. Killu I'm not done.. You'll like this..." He smiled and gave me soft gentle kisses on my cheek and forehead, then to my jawline. Why so many kisses? Besides of that, I put my complete trust in him and I gulped quietly, he made his way to my neck. I feel uneasy... But... im curious. He won't hurt me, right..? After a moment of him admiring my neck, he made a trail of kisses across my neck to my collarbone, and a small squeak escaped my lips as he found a weak spot. He seemed to notice my reaction and kissed it more deeply, and I whimpered slightly, damn what is he doing- is this what he meant as to that I would like this? How far does he plan to go with this? With us?

He then increased the gentle suction on the nerves, and a soft moan came from my lips. I suddenly got self conscious and ashamed, covered my mouth with my hand gently. Gon kept going at it on that spot, his hands going to my thighs under him softly squeezing, and I shivered- If we go that far... No, we can't, he is just drunken and his mind is only on making me happy... this is all my fault, I somehow lead him on... We should really stop- ".... G-gon.... Gon stop... p-please.." I whisper out, the sensation in my neck felt so good but soon if he doesn't stop this... I wouldn't be able to hold back. He stopped, and pulled up to look at me, "But killlua-" I grumbled, "N-no you just... I..." I say, still a bit flustered, so instead I pull him close and just hug him. He accepted that and cuddled me back.

We layed down and I sighed, atleast this way he's somewhere near happy and... I dont do anything I'll regret.

----------------------------------------------
Greetings, my readers-
How was that? My first attempt at writing fluff.
I'm sorry if it was awkward or anything, please tell me ♡