Bittersweet | GonKillu

Recovery x and x delivery

I sat silently, the anxiety creeping in slowly like a monster in the night. What if Gon doesn't have an umbrella? What if he trips and scrapes his knees? What if he gets hit by a car? No no- bad thoughts are bad.... But still I want to know where he went and if he's ok. My feet mutely tapped, nervous. I'm just like a overbearing mother- damn.

Alluka frowned at my disposition and hugged me close, concerned. I give her a gentle pat on her soft jet black head of hair, and a content smile was placidly placed upon her lips. The room grew with a heavy silence, thick enough to cut a slice of with a knife. Canary decided to do such, "... Killua you know that Gon doesn't love you in the way you want, right..?" She indeed broke the silence. Those shards wounded my heart though, the shards of harsh reality. Why do people just bring that up.

I was left on mute, not able to detest her statement. I've visited that notion multiple times per day, mind haunted by my fear of rejection- unable to forget the feeling of helplessness. I gulped down air thickly, mouth growing suddenly dry. "... Do you even love him? Or do you just want him?" She asked again, knowing where to strike to hit a nerve. ".... Not with my baby sister here" I replied monotonously, and Canary sighed, "Lust isn't love, Killua. You both should know that." I try to tune her out, not wanting to be antagonized by Canary's accusations of lust. I don't even want to do anything with him! Atleast not now, but still- my fists tighten.

Alluka reads the room and quietly leaves, I frowned as she did so but relieved that I could now in full extent talk to Canary, "You know what- maybe I an attracted to my best friend. So what? He's not interested" I murmur out, more to myself then at her. She responded neither the less, ".. Well from what happened and what I learned, he does- but still, you are both literally minors and shouldn't do anything anyways. And plus Gon has a boyfriend. Do you want him to be a cheater?" "... No" I murmur out obstinately, I didn't think of it like that and want to forget that he is in fact locked in a relationship that has a lethal expiration date.

"Just get yourself a boyfriend who's single, Killua- take your mind off Gon. Even if he's attracted to you too, he's taken." Canary said, trying to be helpful. But it still hurt as much as the others. ".... I don't love anyone but him" I whine to myself, mind getting worked up on the idea of betraying Gon in any way shape or fashion- including giving up on my crush on him. "... Killua I've already set you up on a blind date for tomorrow. Ok? Please give it a chance- you need to move on.." she smiled gently, and I gave in.

She's only right, Gon is like a unattainable goal and I need to... move on. A quiet sigh pushed itself through my throat as I layed down on the beanbag begrudgingly. Canary glanced to the window and pondered, "I wonder when he's coming back.. do you think he's boxing?" She hummed, and my head shot up- Oh yeah he boxes at the Dojo. ".... Well I'm gonna text him then" I say, to keep my mind on something else positive. I pull my phone out and click on the conversation with me and 'My Light 💛'

Me: Hey Gon? You good?

He didn't respond. A good minute or two passed, then he typed.

My light: Oh hey Killu- uh I'm just at the Dojo practicing 😙😩💅

My god he uses too many emojis- but anyways, I smile.

Me: Idiot. Next time text me when you get there 😒

My light: Ok mother 😔😏

Why is he like this- a snicker erupted from my smirk, and Canary raised her brows at me, "What you smiling at-" she took a glance at my phone, "Oh, it's mr.playboy" she joked around, and sits next to me. I roll my eyes.

Me: get ready for a surprise present in approximately 10 minutes 😗

My light: g a s p- present for me? 🥺

Me: uhuh

"Present? What do you have for him?" Canary inquired, being nosey. I sighed and closed my phone, and looked at her, "Maybe" I grabbed a box under Gon's bed and it was wrapped in a soft light blue wrap with a white bow. I smirked at my amazing wrapping abilities, "Amazing right?" Canary chuckled, "Yeah- master wrapper" she remarked with a lighthearted laugh. I simply nodded and approached the door, "I'll be back soon" I smile as I grab a umbrella and leave the bakery. I prop it open and it shields me from the aggressive rain.

It was more calming though, the sound of water softly puttering off the transparent cover of the umbrella onto the sodden concrete beneath. With gift in hand and umbrella over me, I hummed as I went along the streets, a beautiful sunset peeked behind the building, illuminating behind clouds that were clearing up. The light shining onto the gentle rain streaming upon the floor, a amber shine reflecting bringing a warmthness after the storm. I made my way to the front doors of the Dojo, and I entered as the bell welcomed me with a ding. I shook the water off my umbrella, and compacted it as I took a look around the calmly dim dojo.

I could see how Gon would like a place like this, filled with a community that influences discipline and respect, as well as fitness and being able to defend one's self. I personally had to master Judo, Karate, Kick boxing and Mui Thai so I found it more as a hobby then a way to relief inner emotions or form a sense of connection. I glance around the room, neck peering slightly around corners to find Gon. Then I saw a familiar head of black hair as I saw Gon doing pushups with one hand upside down. Wha- WHY IS HIS SHIRT OFF? A blush scattered across my face as I cleared my throat.

I approach him, and as soon as Gon realized I was here a bright smile spread across his moist face, "Killu! Hi!" He cheered as he pushed off his hand and landed on his feet and pulled me into a hug- ugh he's wet damn it. "You smell bad" I chuckle, and he pouts and pulls away, "Don't me a meanie Killua- I was working out!" He whined, and I chuckled. "Here, the present I was talking about" I smiled, and handed my pride to Gon. His face lit up with curiosity as he handed the wrapping paper like a literal animal, tearing off the wrapping like a wild dog. I cringed, my craftsmanship- ruined.

He let out a soft gasp as he saw what I got him though, and he teared up and his lip quivered. "Killua... you got my watch fixed...?" He said teary eyed, and smiled brightly and pulled me into a vise grip hug, and I gasped, "Gon- too tight-" I rasped out, and he just cried softly and released, looking at my face closely. He smiled warmly and a look of deep appriciation was present, ".... No you dont understand how happy I am" he said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pressing our foreheads together. I smiled softly in response and hugged on him, "Of course I would fix that for you.." I said quietly, that watch was given to Gon when he was a child from his father, the only thing he's ever gotten of him after he left. It broke last year, and Gon had a meltdown. I simply took it to a repairer as I snagged the corpse of the machinery.

He pulled away from me and leaned foward, giving me a gentle grateful kiss. I was surprised, and as quick as it happened he pulled away and stared at me lovingly. "... No really, thank you Killua..." he said softly, and I was speechless. "Anything for you" I chuckled awkwardly, and he giggled in response.

Wow... he's certainly something.