TW: disordered eating habits
There's an odd comfort in being hungry and ignoring it
It's like I'm doing something right
And that feels good
It feels good to do something 'right' when I'm told I'm doing it wrong a lot
It feels good to do something 'right' when I know I'm fucking up near constantly
It feels good to be doing something right
So I'll keep doing it
He'll be upset though
I know enough to know that he won't be angry at me
But he'll be upset
And I don't want him to think that I'm ignoring his warnings
Because I'm not
I know the dangers of letting it get to point where it controls you more than you control it
But I won't let it get there
I still have control
And I can stay in control of it
I'll be fine
(29/1/22)
