Chuuya wants to say things settle down after that and to some extent they do, the Agency doesn't call them for missions and the familiar mission of mafia life is re-established. No more impromptu cookie making sessions, no more tackle chase games, no more Dazai...
Chuuya just feels so fucking raw all the time. He's angry at Dazai for being so emotionally incompetent, hes angry at himself for letting himself fall so deep.
Chuuya pushes past it, because his team deserves him at his best but it's obvious that they notice. Nanaoi flat out offers to murder whoevers bothering him, and even Akutagawa grudgingly offers to maim a few members of the Agency on his behalf.
Things come to head when Mori-san pulls him aside and has a weirdly intense conversing about the Mafia Agency alliance:
"Chuuya, you are arguably one of the most competent and loyal Executive we've ever had, your contributions to the Alliance negotiations were irreplicable, we have similar goals now, so-," he pauses then and gently places a comforting hand on Chuuyas soldier, "So no one would be disatfied if your where to er...pursue a relationship with members of the Agency."
When Chuuya just stares dumbly at him, he sighs. "Chuuya, we care about you and we want you to be happy."
Chuuya nods heart twisting in his throat. His eyes burn slightly and Chuuya can feel the flush rising on his checks, he's mortified-for Mori to notice his attitude, is he so obvious?
....But things do settle.
And Chuuya likes it, he likes the Mafia and he likes the people. His life isn't monotonous without Dazai just...duller. He can't help but long for the excemitment Dazai and the Agency bought.
A sentiment that Chuuya regrets feeling almost fucking immediately
There on a mission and everything is going terribly. Tachihara is spayed on the floor somewhere near his feet, his shoulder blown out, stomach half slashed open. Gin and Akutagawa aren't faring any better, cuts littering their bodies. Nanaoi is the only one undamaged and he looks a few seconds from heaving.
Chuuya gets it, they're fighting some sort of fucking monster. It's torso is this black fucking cloud and it fucking throws literal blades at them every few seconds and they can't even touch it, it regenerates too fast. Its so fucking overpowered Chuuya hates his life.
Then the god forsaken cloud starts glowing and Tachihara moans, rolls over and starts crying, Chuuya wants to join him.
Chuuya makes the decision quickly, it's not like he has much of a choice.
...anyways he has Nanaoi to stop him.
He's throwing his coat over Tachihara with a barked order to make sure it stays clean and sprints at the glowing cloud that fucking throws swords . God, Chuuya makes the worst decisions.
He skids to a stop a few feet from and activates Corruption as fast as possible, stumbling over the words. He feels the burning start through his veins, coagulating in his chest and spares a second to think of how glad he is that he doesn't have to deal with the aftermath.
Chuuya swims in a state of semi-consciousness. The thump of Corruption flows steadily through him, so strong that he feels like he's going to bounce out of his skin.
He doesn't really know what he's doing, his body is being yanked around without any effort from on his part. He thinks that this is the worst part, the total loss of control. The horriblemonstercruelbloodymonster inside of him is so...so uninhibited. Chuuya prides himself in his control and to have it torn away...
It wrecks him.
He hovers in a state of semi consciousness, redness pulses in the corners of his eyes threatening to wash everything away.
...and Chuuya let's it.
YOU ARE READING
To Be Shameless : To No Longer Have Inhibitions
RomanceDazai gets hit by an ability that leaves him without any inhibitions. He just really likes Chuuya.
