THE WAY THAT I AM ACTUALLY A LIAR

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"Going on your first date in your mid-twenties is vaguely melancholic, it's something that makes you feel both incredibly young and old at the same time. The spirit of youth and your own cynicism wages war inside of you..." Is probably what that bastard Dazai is thinking, Chuuya on the other hand has oscillated between being viciously horny and tastefully horny for the past two weeks and now that the promised day is upon them, he has settled on viciously horny. Chuuya did very very briefly consider actually doing what Dazai wanted and following some obscure bullshit steps but for the last two weeks Dazai had been acting like a flighty Victorian maiden and Chuuya is done.

It's horrifying really, watching him humiliate himself within a 5-mile radius of Chuuya, They're Double Black for fucks sake.

But nonetheless, the promised day is upon them and they are on a Cafe Date. The kind that Normal Civilized People Do.

Dazai arrives with the harried continuance of someone who has never experienced a sexual interaction in his life, he slides into the booth and downs an entire cup of coffee before spending several long minutes staring hungrily between Chuuyas dick and the sliver of skin that's visible from his open collar.

Eventually, Chuuya clues in on the fact he will have to be the one to start the Normal People Interactions. He sighs and kicks Dazai lazily to get his attention. "My eyes are up here asshole"

Dazai hums in acknowledgment as narrows his eyes further in the direction of Chuuyas dick as if he could see through the cloth with willpower alone.

"....So how's work going?" Chuuya asks.

Dazai absentmindedly swallows the drool pooling in his mouth and murmurs something about government destabilization.

Chuuya nods along in acknowledgment. He personally doesn't understand why they have to do this, he has known Dazai for as long as he has known himself in a way, and they both kept tabs on each other post-betrayal and all.

"Well, I got proposed to" He announces crisply, watching with a malicious sort of glee as Dazai immediately snaps to attention.

Dazai doesn't respond verbally initially, he stares at Chuuya attempting to gauge whether he's lying. Something dark wavers in his eyes and Chuuya can't help but grin.

He isn't lying actually, Ane-san introduced him to dozens of courtesans when she found out about the date all of whom seemed happy to throw themselves at each other, one of them quite literally jumped into his arms and offered to "blow his world" if he promised to make her a kept woman. He found out later that he had saved her from a scumbag client. And that her affection for him was borderline stalkerish, she had (allegedly) created a shrine dedicated to him with bits of hair and several pictures of him sleeping acquired through "dubious" means. Chuuya was actually quite moved, there was something about a woman who was mildly unhinged that he appreciated, he did briefly consider ditching Dazai for her.

"I'm better" Dazai announces loftily, his hand grips a butter knife with barely contained tension. Chuuya almost coos at him but he resists bravely, he settles on humming noncommittally and watches Dazai grip the knife harder.

Dazai leans towards Chuuya with a practiced ease to his movements, a slickness about it as if he had practiced the gesture in front of a mirror a million times. His eyes take a moment to focus on Chuuya, the playful twinkle in his eyes giving away to something more heavy.

"We should get out of here." He murmurs, placing his hand on top of Chuuyas meaningfully.

Chuuya almost moans which is insane, even for him but unlike Dazai, Chuuya isn't a Lustful Being Of Sin, he is all things good and pure so he yanks Dazai's card out of his trench coat and orders a truly greedy amount of food.

They do end up in a hotel room because there really is no other way for this date to end. Chuuya doesn't quite recall what happened after he polished off five slices of cake, while Dazai watched with a degree of rapture that left Chuuya concerned about a potential fetish.

It's been three hours since they've begun their ceaseless fucking, it started with Chuuya pressed up against a door with Dazai kissing him breathlessly and now he's here bent over; face down ass up. He's under Dazai, panting and horrifyingly enough close to begging for mercy, Dazai that insane bastard somehow managed to gather a truly insane amount of stamina and is above him fucking him with a smug grin.

The dick (Ha! Pun!) inside of him moves ruthlessly as if it doesn't know how to stop. It pulls out almost completely, only to slam back to the hilt, causing the shorter man to tremble, he clenches and almost cums again when Dazai groans into his ear.

He's definitely going to die he realizes with a vague sort of horror, he's going to die and it's going to be so embarrassing, Dazai is going to tell everybody and he's going to be so smug. Chuuya sobs into the mattress at the idea, yelping when Dazai bites his neck, nuzzling affectionately into him.

"Chuuya '' Dazai moans, kissing and nibbling at every inch of him. "Your so pretty" He slurs, he flips him over and starts fucking himself into Chuuya even harder, hips moving incessantly.

"Fucking ... faster," Chuuya moans, his toes curling against Dazai's shins.

Dazai hums clearly not listening. His hands make their way to Chuuya's neck and he presses Chuya harder into the mattress. He fucks him like he's trying to crawl inside him. "My pretty baby" He coos, meanly "Remind me to go kill anyone else who's done this to you, won't you baby?" He nips at Chuuya's ribs who shudders, arching into the touch.

Chuuya kicks out his legs and curls his toes. He shakes his head but can't help but arch into his touch "Crazy bastard" He wheezes. Dazai sweeps a hand up his leg and kneads at Chuuya's thighs. "Dazai." He gasps.

Dazai leans up and drops his face into the crease of Chuuya's neck, he bites and sucks, dragging his tongue across the flushed skin of his neck. Chuuya's legs find their way around Dazai's waist and he bucks his hips desperate for friction, Chuuya whimpers when Dazai presses back.

"Faster" Chuuya whines.

"Don't worry doll, I'll take my time" Dazai murmurs, because he's a horrible horrible man, his breath hot against the shell of Dazai's ear, his hands large and warm where they stroked over Chuuyas trembling waist. When Chuuya tries to complain, Dazia just stuffs his fingers into his mouth.

"You only seem to settle when you get something in your mouth," Dazai says amused. Chuuya bites his fingers in response and Dazai yanks his nipples punishingly "Why are you always so difficult?" Dazai mused, throatfucking him with his fingers, he rubs his thumb across Chuuyas swollen bottom lip "I just want to fuck you sweetly sometimes."

Chuuya tries to muster a response but when Dazai pinches his nipple, he just shakes, melting under the full force of Dazai's attention. "Don't worry," Dazai murmured. "I'll take care of you."

His eyes are so soft, so devoted, and...Chuuya...he...he comes again. He's sobbing hard now and Dazai is kissing him anywhere he can, ugly ugly mean man that he is.

"I'm gonna die." Chuuya wheezes and Dazai laughs, a clear affection sound that has Chuuya aching deep inside.

"I love you" Dazai murmurs and Chuuya's heart palpates and his dick tries to have another spontaneous orgasm. Dazai comes at some point, hips rocking into Chuuya much more gently.

There is silence until they are both clean. And Dazai says it again "I love you." he says it again when Chuuya shakes his head, tears blurring his vision for completely different reasons again when he tugs CHuuya against him and again when he kisses Chuuyas tears away. He keeps saying it until Chuuya finally says it back.

"I love you too."







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⏰ Last updated: Apr 11 ⏰

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