Slipping Through My Fingers | Xicheng

Chapter 1

Looking at the reflection of the Moon in the Lotus pond was one of Jiang Cheng's favorite things to do during those sleepless nights when the sky was free of the clouds. He could admire the stars, so beautiful yet unreachable. It helped him relax, and forget at least for a short moment.

There were many nights like this one, when he woke up all sweaty after a terrible nightmare. Nightmare. It would be much better if it was only a bad dream, the product of his brain putting together his desires or fatigues and concerns, but no. Those were memories of the times, when he lost his youthful cheerfulness and had to man up. Times of great losses and sacrifices.

He used to think that he lost everything he held dear irrevocably. But then Wei Wuxian came back from the dead, turning his life upside down once more. As if it wasn't already fucked up.

Jiang Cheng hated and loved him, wanted him as far away as possible and missed him dearly.

It's been already two years since the events at Guanyin Temple, and Wei Wuxian's return. It's been a year since the newly made Yunmeng Jiang Clarity Bell laid in a small wooden box in Jiang Cheng's desk, waiting for it's maker to finally pick up the courage to give it to his owner. Although he also lacked the opportunity to do so.

Throughout those two years he spent most of his time traveling between Yunmeng and Lanling, in order to help Jin Ling to get used to the position of a Sect Leader. He was happy, because his nephew was now managing incredibly well without him, although it also made him sad. Jin Ling had less time for him now that he had so many obligations. Not to mention, he was often going on night hunts with his friends and Wei Wuxian. It turns out that they saw his nephew more in a month than he managed to in at least the last six months, because of his own obligations.

"But that's okay," he thought. "I am used to being left behind." If Jin Ling is happy, there is nothing more for him to wish for. Though it made him quite sad.

He sighed. Yesterday was his birthday, and Jin Ling forgot about it. No visit, no gift, no letter. Nothing. Even his husband forgot about him a year after he entered seclusion. Lan Xichen used to write him a lot of letters. They weren't always long, it mostly depended on his state of mind for the day. Jiang Cheng knew he had a deeply pained heart, that's why he was satisfied with anything A-Huan was able to give him at that moment. Sometimes there were lengthy pages, full of his thoughts, another day he wrote a poem, and when he was really mentaly drained he wrote a simple "I love you". Jiang Cheng was okay with it.

But a year ago it all stopped, and with that he was absolutely not okay. He wrote many letters to Lan Qiren, asking about his husband's wellbeing. Each answer was the same.

"He is in good health. You ought not to worry."

But how could he not? He loved that man with all his being. However, even he had his limits. After six months he stopped trying. His letters remained without answer from his beloved. It hurt. There was a time when he was sure that Lan Xichen will be a constant presence in his life, someone who will never leave him for longer than necessary. He thought the same thing about Jin Ling, but with his nephew it was different.

Jiang Cheng always knew that Jin Ling would eventually move on with his life. He will have his own sect and family to take care of. It was a given that with the passage of time his Jiujiu won't be his main priority.

However, with Lan Xichen it was different. Jiang Cheng was always sure that his spouse would be by his side till one of them took his final breath. Exactly like he promised when they were getting married, and even before that.

He tried to see him three times, each visit two months apart. It was all in vain. Sect Leader Lan refused his visitations, sending him away through a disciple, without a word.

He was once again left behind, by a person that promised to never let go of his hand. Ten years of marriage apparently meant nothing to him, and Jiang Cheng decided not to sit still. In a couple of days everyone will know that the marriage between Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin and Sect Leader Lan Xichen has been terminated, as per Jiang Cheng's request.

He was done waiting. Although he was used to being left behind, Jiang Wanyin decided to stop holding onto people who thought so little of him as to abandon him in a blink of an eye.

He stood up from the bench, and went straight into it, letting the cold water envelop him all over. He was an excellent swimmer, how could he not since he grew up in a land full of rivers and lakes, however, this time he let himself sink to the bottom, not even trying to stay afloat.

At least once in his life, he wanted to be the one that left them all behind, while heading to a better place.

Morning came and the birds and other animals were giving a beautiful concert. The sun's rays broke through the light mist before reflecting on the surface of the lotus pond. Although it was already November the snow hadn't fallen yet, so the weather was quite pleasant. Pleasant enough for a morning stroll.