𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮

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You're just a lover out to score
I know that I should be looking for more
What could it be in you I see
What could it be...
Oh, Love, oh, love, stop making a fool of me
Oh, Love, oh, love, stop making a fool of me.....

"Bitch you are crazy why didn't you stay?"

"I couldn't touch her or kiss her with him there  it was weird"

"Now you gave her power to control the situation urgh sis"

"I know okay can we stop talking about it?"I said with tears in my eyes and she only stopped because of the tears.

"Fine but sis you need to find your voice again Todd can't make decisions about everything and you let him just because you feel bad"

I nodded understanding exactly what she was talking about.

After our nice yoga session, we went to have some steak and fries don't judge me!

"I needed that"

We had wine talking, it was nice for her crazy ass to make my day with her twins I loved my niece and nephew and they loved me too after being with her it was time to go back home.

The home had no meaning anymore!

I drove back home.

Got out and locked the car getting out with my stuff.

Got into the house and found the note.

Not his food again I just had steak...

I went upstairs and there were rose petals and wine.

"What's this"

"Making it up to you baby you're my love and I never wanna lose you ok?"

I nodded smiling...When Ashanti said:

"See, when I get the strength to leave
You always tell me that you need me
And I'm weak 'cause I believe you
And I'm mad because I love you
So I stop and think that maybe
You can learn to appreciate me
Then it all remains the same
That you ain't never gonna change
Never gonna change, never gonna change.

She wrote the song for me I swear she did.

We had the wine and strawberries he knows they are my favorite...

He tried to kiss me but I froze and remembered Tae and kissed him back...

It wasn't passionate like before it was cold and forced...

I felt sick imagining where his lips were for the past 24 hours.

We watched movies in bed....we agreed on no sex till I feel better...

By better, I mean deleting the scenes from my mind.

"Baby"

"Todd every time you say baby I know..."

"Please tell me bout the baby daddy and why you..."

I sat up that's a very uncomfortable topic he knows that.

Why now?

"He...I mean I found him having sex with a man he claimed was his cousin and he said he was only using me to see if he is into men or women he laughed when I told him and said it's not his"

"I'm so sorry"

"I went home crying scared I was 15 what would I do about my dad and his church? He would never forgive me and when I told Tae we told mommy and she handled it took me to the doctor, made sure I wore the right clothes to hide the tummy, and covered so much for me, my dad never saw me the same" I said with tears running down my face...

"I'm so sorry baby I didn't know"

"He resented me pretty much like you are doing now and he said one day he's going to die from a heartbreak and I broke his heart, when he passed away from a severe stroke I blamed myself, but mom and Tae didn't that's all I needed "

"It was not your fault"

"I know and I also know it's not my fault I can't give you kids you just wanted her and well you got her"

"I wasn't punishing you"

"Okay Todd"

I got up and went downstairs but he followed me.

"Ephy it was just fun for us"

"You mean for you? Because I can assure you I didn't enjoy it my heart broke when I called for you and you didn't stop to check if I was okay but yet you say you love me Todd what kind of love is that ?"

"I left Todd and you didn't even see, you came home at 11 am I don't know how to forget that"

"The same way I'll forget why we can't have kids"

Ouch ....that was low even for him...

"Ephy"

"No I get it I'm going to go lie down please clean the mess you made"By mess I meant the damn rose petals.

He went after me ...I need space I need to think he is suffocating me...

"Baby I'm sorry it came out wrong"

"If that's how you feel then why are we still married Todd let's get a divorce so you can fuck Erika the way you want and father all her children"

He didn't answer me so I pushed him out of the way and got on our bed I needed to sleep somehow sleeping solved all my problems ...

Woke up late and he wasn't home I panicked what if he is with Erika am I pushing him into her arms?

No Ephy you cannot push someone to do something they had already made up their mind they will do...my inner voice reminded me.

I heard our front door open and it was him.

"You're awake "

I nodded...

"Can I hug my wife?"

I nodded again...

He held me and I could tell from the sweaty smell he was playing football with his boys he said it relaxed him and one day when he has a son he would play with him.

That thought made me cry on his chest I felt defeated, and hurt I didn't know how to feel I love Todd and don't want to lose him I just don't know what to do anymore.

"I'm  so sorry baby I love you I swear I do I just can't explain it please don't ever say you're not enough for me because you are I swear you are"

"I love you too are we going to be okay Todd?"

"Yes baby and I promise I won't hurt you ever again"

He wiped my tears and kissed my lips after he left to shower so we can eat.

We had our dinner and went to bed.

Things were kinda normal almost okay I checked his phone one night and found Erika's messages and nudes I don't know if he forgot to delete them or left them so I find them.

I didn't know how to confront him but one day I had had enough and asked him.

"Baby as you can see I don't respond I told her it was only for one night I don't mind losing a good fuck but wouldn't survive losing you"

"Okay" I don't know if it's the guilt but she won't leave him alone and his acting so weird.

I knew agreeing to the stupid threesome was bad yet I agreed I curse that fucking day.

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓝𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽  𝓞𝓷𝓵𝔂!

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