10 Forget It All

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The last time I remembered, I was sleeping alone in my bed. I wanted a little bit of space before our celebration. The next time I was aware, I found Jotaro on my bed beside me.

I mumbled, "Jotaro?"

He was asleep beside me, but I found dried tears on his face.

"Jotaro?"

I reached over and wiped his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

He woke up and opened his eyes. He looked at me. "Um..." He sat up and cleared his throat.

"What's wrong, hun?" I said soothingly. I began combing my hand through his hair.

"Hm," was all he would say. I wasn't sure if he was trying to hide how he was feeling, because if he was, he was failing. His jaw was tense. His hands were balled up into fists in the sheets. His knuckles were white.

It came to mind how he got in this state. It usually happened around the time he mentioned being worried about someone's life, but that was a couple of days ago. Did he even talk about this with anyone? He must've had a night terror.

Then he came to my room.

"Okay." I scooted close to him. I reached to his back and began rubbing it. "I'll be okay," I hushed. "No need to worry."

He closed his eyes and exhaled.

We laid like that for a little bit. For a bit, I thought that he had fallen asleep with how still he has gotten.

Jotaro sat up and said, "Good freaking grief." He put his hand to his forehead covering his eyes.

"It's okay," I said. I sat up. "Something worried you quite a bit. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he said. "I'm okay." He stood up from my bed. He seemed very irate at his circumstance.

"Are you sure?" I worried for his wellbeing. The fact that something startled him to come to me was worrying.

"I am... Now." He swallowed and said, "You're okay." He meant it as I wasn't hurt or harmed in anyway. He added as if to convince himself, "You're okay."

"Of course... What did you dream about?"

A grunt came from him. Then he said, "It's nothing."

"It's nothing?" I said with doubt. "Jotaro, you were terrified."

"I'm fine." He left my room.

I thought about going after him, but what if he just didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he didn't want to think about it. Maybe his dream was so bad, he didn't want to scare me just like when I saw his nightmare. So many possibilities, so little words.

I got up and got ready for work.

I found Jotaro cooking breakfast. He was his normally stoic and emotionally constipated self.

I walked over to him and stood beside him.

He leaned down a little towards me.

I kissed him on the side of his head.

Jotaro closed his eyes for a second and took a breath. He opened his eyes and continued cooking.

Yep, too much was going on with him. He definitely had a nightmare he didn't want to share or think about. Maybe I shouldn't worry because he probably dealt with this on his own in the past. But was that even healthy?

A whole day of work went by without bringing that morning up. Then it was time to start the weekend.

I arrived at my new home later than Jotaro to find him in his/our bedroom with a bed full of toys. He looked up to me and said, "Let's try anal."

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