I Chose Myself

Prologue

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimula ulit. For the past years, I had lived my life beautifully. May trabaho na maayos ang bayad, may bahay, may kotse, at higit sa lahat, may boyfriend or should I say, fiancé?

I thought our relationship would be different from my past ones, pero...akala ko lang pala 'yon. My past relationships...they never got to this point. 

He treated me with utmost respect, he treated me like I'm his only girl, and for years, he proved himself to me. Like what I wanted it to be. Never once did I suspect his love for me.

Akala ko nga, sa kasalan na talaga kami mauuwi dahil nag-propose na rin siya sa akin, pero hindi pala. I chuckled at the thought. Siguro nga, dapat ay hindi pinapangunahan ang lahat ng bagay, ano?

It's funny how I have been preparing for this for so long, pero siguro ay hindi talaga ito para sa akin. Kahit na gaano ko pa ito pinaghandaan, if it's not meant for me, then it's not meant for me.

"Lord, bakit niyo naman po ako palaging pinaglalaruan?" I want to say that I am mad, but I can't help but wonder kung ano ang rason kung bakit nauwi sa ganito ang lahat.

Sa dinami dami kong akala, ni isa ay wala man lang nagkatotoo. 

Tiningnan ko ang singsing na hanggang ngayon ay nakasuot pa rin sa aking ring finger. The little diamond there shone as the sun's rays met its surface. I can't help but reminisce on the past. I remember how I was the happiest woman when he popped the question that one day, not knowing that...I will be the one left most broken.

"Faliha, si Aaron!" I stood immediately from my seat when I heard one of our common friends call me. Rinig na rinig ang panic sa boses niya nang tawagin ako kaya agad akong tumugon.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mayroon, pero takot na takot akong nag-drive papunta sa lugar na sinabi niya. Hindi ko man lang naitanong kung anong nangyari! I frantically looked for my boyfriend when I arrived. Hindi ko na rin napansin kung paano ko naipark ang kotse dahil sa pagmamadali pero mamaya ko na lang iyon iintindihin! Takot na takot ako dahil baka kung ano nang masama ang nangyari kay Aaron pero nagulat ako at agad na napatigil nang makita ang isang kubo na punong puno ng mga fairy lights.

I was about to go away and continue my search when a very familiar strum of guitar played behind me. Muli akong napalingon sa kubo at mas lalo akong nagulat nang makita ko roon si Aaron, bitbit ang gitara at may ngiti sa labi.

Gulong gulo akong nakatayo doon nang may lumapit sa aking babae.  She held me by the arm and slowly guided me towards the kubo, kunot man ang noo dahil sa pagkalito ay kinakabahan dahil sa pag-iisip kung ito na nga ba ang iniisip ko.

The familiar intro of the song 'Illusion' by One Direction played along with his cold voice. Halos matunaw ako sa lalim tingin niya sa akin kasabay pa ng maganda niyang boses. It was as if he was seeing through my soul, and like a damn fool I am, I allowed him.

Nang matapos siyang kumanta ay ibinaba niya ang gitara at kinuha ang bouquet ng roses bago lumapit sa akin. I was standing in the middle of rose petals shaped like a heart. My tears were already streaming down my face as I watch the love of my life make his way towards me.

Hindi ko alam kung tama ba itong iniisip ko, pero sana ay ito na nga.

My breathing almost stopped when he gave me the bouquet of roses at nang matanggap ko iyon ay dahan-dahan siyang lumuhod sa harapan ko, gamit ang kaniyang nangangatal na kamay ay unti-unti niyang binuksan ang hawak niyang isang jewelry box. 

A diamond ring was placed inside the velvet box that he was holding. 

Mas lalo lamang akong napaluha dahil sa nakita. Is this finally it?