I Chose Myself

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hindi ko ga maintindihan kung ano ang nangyari sa batang iyon, Faliha, at gano'n na lamang ang nangyari sa inyo. Ay kita ko naman na simula pa noon ay maayos kayo at nagmamahalan. It is a shock to me to know that you two were...supposed to tie the knot but an unexpected occurrence happened."

"I know that it's hard for you, Faliha. But always remember that I and your papa will always be here, no matter what happens."

I inhaled a large amount of breath to calm myself down. Si Nanay ay patuloy na hinahaplos ang aking likuran. Papa was already in front of me, kneeling while looking at me.

"Faliha, pinakinggan mo na ba ang explanation ni Aaron?" Tanong ni Papa. I slowly shook my head as realization hit me.

"I didn't listen to him... Pero para saan pa po ga? He cheated on me with another girl and he got her pregnant! That's enough reason for me to cancel what's supposed to be happy ending!" Galit kong saad.

I know that I am partly wrong for not listening to him, pero ayaw ko. If I hear the truth, I probably will be in a lot more pain. Dati, ang gusto ko ay palaging sabihin sa akin ang totoo dahil ayaw kong mamuhay ng puno ng kasinungalingan. But this time...it's completely different.

Ayaw kong marining ang katotohanan because the truth will either break me, or make me.

"I know you guys know how hard it is for me to...to live this life! Lalong lalo na dahil sa ginawa ng totoo kong ama!" I cried again, inaalala ang nakaraan at ang hinaharap ng isang batang walang tumatayong tatay.

"I don't want to feel the way I did, pero may choice po ba ako? Wala..." nanghihina kong sabi.

"I know how hard it is to grow up without a father. Papa, I am so grateful to you pero palagi ko pa rin pong hinahanap ang aruga ng tunay kong ama," it was almost a whisper. Ngumiti si Papa, pero nakita ko ang nararamdaman ng kaniyang mata. It is far from happiness, like what his smile tries to do so, he was in pain.

Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. "But I am always thankful to you because you are here. You are my father, and I will always be your daughter."

He wrapped his arms around me, crying on my shoulder, too. "I'm sorry, anak. I'm sorry."

"At iniisip ko po na paano kung walang kagaya niyo ang tumayo para sa bata? I may have had my happy ending with Aaron, but the thought of a kid suffering because his or her father chose another woman breaks me, s-so much."

I wiped my tears away, staring at nothing.

"Kaya mas ayos po sa akin na ako ang masaktan kasi alam kong kakayanin ko iyon, kaysa sa isang bata na hindi pa man naiisilang sa mundo ay kinamumuhian na ng marami." I cried so hard, imagining the future that will come.

Ang hinaharap na wala si Aaron. Walang kami.

"Ako po, magiging maayos po ako kahit na sobrang hirap because I am strong, 'di ga po?" I told them, wrapping my arms on both of their waist.

I rested my head on my papa's shoulder, as we were filled with silence. Ang tanging naririnig lamang namin ay ang ingay ng aking hikbi. They allowed me to do so, and I am glad because they are here.

From: Bruhang Haze
Fali, I know how hard what happened is for you and I hope that no matter where you are right now, you are safe and happy. Lovelots, Gandang Haze 😚

Muling nanubig ang mata ko nang makita ang text ni Haze. Gosh, why am I so emotional?

I turned my phone off after a while. I saw a lot of unread messages and missed calls from Aaron, but I didn't bother replying. Hindi ko kaya.