Cheesy Movie | ONC translation

Scene three

Where the hell is Lola?

That's what Robert Vašinka asked himself as he paced the battered sidewalk on the street below his apartment.

The sun was shining on him like a very strong lamp on snake eggs in a terrarium and he was beginning to regret that he had to put on his black leather jacket that day, or that he had complied with Lola and agreed to meet her so early, even though his archery class was about to start in less than an hour on the other side of Prague.

Ordinarily he wouldn't have put customers before his hobbies, but Lola's spending was such a large percentage of his annual income that her satisfaction was what decided if he could afford the archery lessons at all.

And what was she buying from him? You'd be interested to know! If it was so profitable that it allowed even an ordinary student to buy an apartment in Prague, you can probably see that it wasn't legal. And you're right, it was nothing more than selling, or rather reselling, high quality marijuana.

But Robert didn't grow anything himself, that was now done centrally at someone's cabin deep in the woods or abroad. Robert was just a sort of courier who merely distributed the finished product to numerous customers, earning extra money during his studies... which, I must mention, had already lasted seven years due to great success. Well, tell me, who's gonna get excited about work when crime is so lucrative?

Theoretically, the danger most people associate with the profession might have driven him to an honest life. But contrary to popular belief, Robert has never actually encountered the dark side of the city. He only dealt with customers, who in a posh establishment such as his were, of course, no street junkies, just whimsical celebrities and stressed-out businessmen. So Robert lived quite peacefully in his paradise, where he could afford to spend money on archery lessons and heated floors for his modern apartment, with no reason to fear for his life... that is, of course, until the unfortunate suspicion of his paranoid employer, Lord, who had set his hound, Mr. Silent on him.
But of course Robert didn't know that yet and, as they say, what the eyes don't see, the doesn't hurt the heart, so his biggest problem at the moment was that he would probably have to pay for a taxi to catch his archery lesson.

Suddenly a black Mercedes sped towards him and parked half-way on the crumbled curb like a five-year-old in some car video game.

"Damn... he's driving like someone who hasn't held a steering wheel in five years..." muttered Robert discontentedly and moved to the side in case the creepy driver wasn't satisfied with his parking spot and wanted to do more damage.

Robert had no idea how accurate his guess was. The one who was behind the wheel of this car had been released from prison the previous day after four years...

When Robert saw Lola's familiar blue high heeled shoes emerging from the car door, he threw his arms out in irritation and called out to her, "Where are you? I have something to do today!"

"Sorry, my boss held me up. I think he's still struggling with the script he's supposed to present to us at the big meeting this afternoon." Lola mumbled, rolling the chewing gum in her mouth.

"Okay..." then Robert nodded calmly. After all, he couldn't be mad at her for making money, which she then spent on his goods. "And what's that whip?"

"This?" Lola giggled, pointing proudly at the luxurious black Mercedes. "That's my bodyguard's car, please! Yes, that's right! I have a bodyguard who has his own Mercedes! Now I'm important!"

Robert shook his head admiringly and waved a greeting to Láďa, who stared at him silently from the open window, a smoking cigarette dangling between his thin lips.