Cheesy Movie | ONC translation

Finale- part two

Does it look awkward standing here?

Robert pondered this as he crouched by the open door of the toilets and watched the lobby.

After he had seen Arnošt and Lola enter the elevator in the building where he, too, was supposed to meet someone, he was no longer sure of anything and was only going to come out of his hiding place when Láďa appeared in the lobby.

And Robert didn't have to wait long for that, for it was only about fifteen minutes and five confused gentlemen who passed Robert in the toilets, later that Láďa actually entered the lobby and made his way to the elevator.

So Robert didn't hesitate and stepped out of his hiding place, intending to get in the elevator with Láďa and deal with him on the way. That was the most ideal solution for both of them. Láďa, whom Robert regarded as a high-ranking and busy mobster, would not lose a second of his precious time, but would only use the minute he would otherwise have spent aimlessly standing in the elevator, and for Robert these premises were a guarantee of safety.

After all, what kind of idiot shoots someone in an elevator?

But before Robert could carry out his wonderful plans, an extravagantly dressed golden-haired young man ran into the elevator.

Robert sighed in disappointment and retreated back to the bathroom. He'd missed an amazing opportunity...

But what could be done? He would simply watch which floor the elevator went up to and find Láďa later. It wasn't an ideal solution, but it was still better than discussing business in front of a civilian-

Wait a minute!

Suddenly, Robert thought about the face of the man he'd glimpsed fleetingly as he'd joined Láďa in the elevator. He knew him from somewhere...

The slicked-back golden hair, the black brocade jacket, the snakeskin boots...

But that was Mr. Silent!

He met him at Lord's a long time ago. The two of them had just been discussing something obviously very important when he had entered, and then when Mr. Silent had left, Lord almost burst with pride as he bragged to Robert about having such a reliable employee.

What Mr. Silent was doing for him, however, he did not tell him.

...and he didn't have to.

Robert had figured it all out and wisely decided he didn't need to know any details.

And now he also guessed what Mr. Silent was doing with Lord's rival in the elevator.

Yes, let's take another look into Robert's delusional mind and listen to one of his naive theories.

Robert's mind was made up. There was no longer any doubt as to Lord's fate and Láďa's identity. Láďa had let the man he had met at Lord's apartment kill Lord because he wanted to take over his criminal network. And Mr. Silent had gotten on the elevator with him because, like him, he had received a creepy photographic invitation to a job interview.

How simple it all was! All the evidence only further confirmed the truth of his original theory.

Granted, it didn't really fit what Lord's killer was doing here with Lola, but let's leave that aside... if it all fit perfectly, it would be suspicious.

Therefore, Robert emerged quite calmly from the doorway of the toilets, where he had been making everyone who wanted to use the room for its original purpose nervous for the past twenty minutes or so, and stood in front of the elevator door.

As he watched the numbers on the screen above the elevator jump up to ten and then back down again, he began to hum a catchy jazz song he had heard on the radio the previous day.

Pam, pam, pim, pim, pim...

Number three shone on the screen. The elevator came hurtling down to the ground floor with a thunderous roar.

Pam, pam, pim, pim, pim...

The elevator passed through the second and first floors, landed on the ground floor with a clang and began to open.

Chrrrrrrr....

Pam, pam, pim- what the fuck...!

Robert stopped singing, blinking and even breathing from the shock alone. He only had energy left for that whispered curse.

For the same terrifying sight that had so disturbed the secretary on the tenth floor a minute ago spread before his eyes.

Both Láďa and Mr. Tichý lay collapsed on the floor of the elevator, drowning in a flood of blood that had splashed onto the floor of the lobby when the elevator reached them, like water from a fishbowl when someone slides it across the desk with too much force.

Bright blood gushed from the wounds on their faces, Mr. Silent had it under his eye and Láďa's in the middle of his forehead, running down their cheeks and joining the flood on the floor like mountain streams flowing into a lake.

And what was worst of all was the sickening rusty smell of death that rolled out of the elevator like steam from a sauna and gradually began to spread throughout the hall.

Now Robert really had no idea what was going on.

He didn't even have a theory on this one.

So, completely paralyzed with shock, he stared at the butchery scene in silence, not even blinking in horror.

And then, suddenly, there was a scream behind his back that took away any remaining calm that would have allowed him to think rationally about the situation.

"Wait! Hands above your head! Don't move!"

It hadn't occurred to Robert that it might be a policeman who had been called to the scene by the people on the tenth floor after the elevator with the bodies had opened up in front of them. It hadn't even occurred to Robert that maybe the person who had called out to him might not be planning to kill him.

He had only one thought in his head.

There were two mutilated corpses lying in front of him, and he wasn't about to join the party as the third.

And so Robert ran.

He didn't think about the consequences of his actions. Nor did he look back at the man who had asked him to stop.

Had he done so, Robert might have noticed the conspicuous blue uniform the man wore and the flashy badge he waved around like a priest making the sign of the cross among the antichrists, hoping that the dubious existences passing by would then let him pass.

But Robert did not, and ran on without thinking.

And the policeman didn't give it much thought either.

It didn't occur to him that Robert was just an innocent (well, to a point, as far as the murder goes, yes, as far as other things go... oh god, no) witness who was running because he feared for his life. It doesn't even occur to him that in order to stop a fleeing man, he can aim somewhere other than at his head...

But let's not be hard on these guys. They were both scared to death, and they didn't have much experience with situations like this. So we can't blame anyone for the outcome of their collision, let's just say it was an unfortunate accident.

Except that this unfortunate coincidence took the form of a bullet piercing the back of Robert's head and assigning him the fate he was so desperately trying to avoid.

And so Robert's corpse fell to the ground just a few meters away from the bodies of Láďa and Mr. Silent.