Passion

"You can't be a coward forever."

Amanda chuckled, despit her nervousness. "Quit pushing Brit. You are not going to provoke me into rushing out into the party dressed like this."

"Rushing? You are already ten minutes late." She had parked in the back of the house, away from the main flow of human traffic entering the party. Small, twinking lights surrounded the pool and pool house, even though the weather was too cold for swimming.

"And that is your fault. What were you thinking,to pick me a costume that was so ...so...." Amanda couldn't quite find the words to describe the skimpy little outfit her best friend had chosen for her. If she had to go to Britney's stupid Halloween party at all, she would have preferred to be a pumpkin or a witch. Anything that was less revealing.

"So...what? You look fantastic. What is wrong with that? I want you to have fun tonight. I want you to loosen up a little and try socializing. Talk to people."

"You mean men, don't you?" Amanda shook her head. "I am not a hermit Brit. I have my students and more than enough school activities to keep me busy." Then she glanced down at herself. "What were you thinking?"

"You said you didn't have time to pick out an outfit yourself." Britney lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "Besides you make a very sexy harem girl. All the single men here tonight will drool. It will do you good to realize how attractive you can be when you are not hiding behind those hideous suits."

Amanda winced, she was feeling far from attractive. exhibited, displayed and down right exposed was more accurate.  She was pretty certain she looked ridiculous more than anything else. "Which single men, exactly, did you invite?"

Britney waved her hand in dismissal. "You have met almost everyone, I think. Some of Bobby's associates, a few neighbors friends and... Brian."

Amanda went perfectly still for a second then frowned at Britney. "Brian Mead at a costume party? I don't think your notorious brother in law would bother with something so-----"

"Don't make fun of my party Amanda."

"I wasn't. I just thought fancy Banquets were more his speed." Amanda couldn't imagine Brian dressed in a costume. He always seemed so...suave, and he always had a sophisticated, very elegant woman on his arms.

"Brian came because Bobby asked him, and he would never let his brother down. You know how close they are." Britney shook her head and added. "You know, You and Brian actually have a few things in common."

Amanda turned away. " You are dreaming, Brit. We live in different worlds."

"You  just don't understand Brian. He had it pretty rough growing up too." Then she touched Amanda's arm "But at least Bobby was always there for him."

"My brother had his own life," Amanda said, "And he was right, my problems were my own."

"Bobby would never turn Brian away if he needed help."

"Bobby is a great guy. But him and Brian are nothing alike."

"Not now, maybe they used to be." Britney said with a grin."But then Bobby met me. I think Brian will be the same. When he finds someone he cares about..."

Amanda narrowed her eyes and stiffened her shoulders. "That will be a little hard for him to do when his relationships rarely last long enough to get to know a woman."

Britney stared at Amanda, her eyebrows raised. "You seem to be keeping pretty close track of my younger brother in law."

"He is not that young." But Amanda flushed at being caught. " I mean he is a grown man. he must be in his early thirties... oh never mind."

"Brian is a good guy, Amanda. He may change dates alot,but that is because the women he usually hooks up with are only impressed by his status in the community and his expanding financial portfolio. Brian thinks he wants a no strings attachment , but he is never satisfied with it."

Amanda had a feeling it was Brian's looks and outrages charm that really attracted women, but she kept her mouth shut. She certainly didn't want Britney to get the idea she had a crush on Brian Mead.

Good grief. A crush! No she didn't . Certainly not.

Amanda was shaking her head at her crazy thoughts even as she said. "You don't have to defend Brian to me, Brit. What he does is no concern to me."

"Fine Then if you are done stalling. Can we go to the party now? I think it is about to start raining."

Amanda glanced at the dark sky and smelled the moisture in the air, "You go on Brit, I think I will just wait a few more minutes."

Britney hesitated and the she nodded. "Don't be too long."

Too long? Amanda wondered i another hour or so would be too long. She truly didn't relish the idea of going inside, not that anyone would recognize her. Dressed so differently, no one would see her as Amanda Swartz , grade school teacher and spinster extraordinaire. Her persona this evening was as far as her usual self as a woman could get. Even her hair and eyes were different, thanks to the wig that came with the costume, and the colored contacts she was wearing.

She was a coward true.But it had been to long years since her divorce, and even though that had give her time for her to gain her Independence and put some order to her life, it hadn't been enough time to repair her confidence in herself as a woman. Britney claimed Amanda was attractive and appealing. Amanda's ex had made an entirely different claim.

Shivering, she forced her mind away from the disturbing memories, mustered her courage and started toward the door. She could make Britney happy by mingling for an hour or so, then she could make her escape. The thought of her small, tidy, empty house seemed very nice all a sudden..

Hope ya liked.:)