Passion

Chapter 20

Brian would be showing up any minute. She spent her morning girding herself for the impact of seeing him again. He hadn't canceled on the school project, so she would have to continue working with him. But she was ready.

He sauntered onto the gym floor with his usual air of confidence, and several children ran and greeted him. Sarra had taken a particular liking to him and when she threw her arms around him he tugged on one of her braids.

Brian took a few moments to address the other children talking with one, asking about school joking and teasing and being teased in return.

Amanda felt herself softening. Whoever would have thought Brian would show so much understating with children? And it was instant, she was sure, not something that could be summoned fourth at will. Children knew if any adult really liked them. And Brian truly cared about the children.

It hit Amanda then. Brian too, had an alter ego just as she did. If fact more than one.

There was Brian the business man, the astute lawyer who handled cases with flair and savvy. And there was also Brian the Ladies man, with a reputation well known by the female population. In fact Amanda now realized that reputation had been encouraged more by the ladies than by Brian himself. The things he valued in women as far as she could tell, were intelligence, and laughter, not her measurements and unfailing willingness.

And he was also a very perceptive man, considerate and indulgent, with a gentleness toward all things weaker or smaller. That is why he dealt so well with the children.

Brian looked up and caught her scrutinizing him. He strolled over dribbling the ball. With a slight smile he stopped directly in front of her. ""I know what I am thinking. Are your thoughts the same?"

Amanda shrugged, stealing the ball away from him. "I was thinking you should get married and have children of your own. You are very good with them. " She glanced at him saw his shocked expression and smiled with satisfaction. "That's all."

"That's all! hey wait a minute."

He was too late. She blew the whistle and the children lined up. For the next two hours Amanda made certain she kept her distance from Brian, always making sure she had at least one of the kids close to her. It was ingenious plan, and it was obviously frustrating Brian. He scowled at her through out the last fifteen minutes of practice.

Brian walked two children out to their parents cars talking with the moms and dads a few minutes before coming back to the gym. She wasn't going to bother asking him what the discussions were about this time.

He'd never confided in her last time. When he noticed she was still in the gym he headed toward her falling into step beside her as she started for the locker room.

"I want to talk to you Amanda."

"Cant right now. I am running late as it is." That was an easy truth to give though Brian didn't accept it.

"Late for what, dammit?"

She didn't look at him. "Don't curse at me Brian."

"Then stop avoiding me!"

"In other words if i don't you are going to continue to blast me with your foul language?"

He grabbed her arm haulting her. "Talk to me please."

It unnerved her seeing him so abjectly sincere. "I'm sorry. Really. But I am starting one night courses and I am running late. I should of left ten minutes ago."

He searched her face. "What time will you get home?"

"Late."

"Too late to see me?"

"There is no reason to see me. I told you that."

"And I dint accept it. I guess we are at an impasse."

"We aren't anywhere. I am late and you should be getting home. Goodbye."

"No. I am not leaving until you tell me what you meant by that crack about children."

"It wasn't a crack." She glanced at her watch a deliberate show of impatience. "You would make an excellent father. You should find yourself a woman like Brit, and settle down. It would relieve the boredom you are forever complaining about."

"I haven't complained about being bored since I met you. And I don't want a woman like Brit. I want a woman like you."

It took great willpower not to react to that statement. Her stomach had lurched and her pulse had skipped a beat. But he was only being Brian, flirting and teasing. She couldn't take him seriously." You want a woman who doesn't want you back? I don't know Brian. That might be kind of hard. Didn't you tell me all the women want you?"

"No. I dint recall saying that. But I know you do Amanda.shall I prove it?"

Amanda flushed silently cursing him for challenging her especially when she knew she couldn't win. " I cant deny I enjoyed sex with you, Brian. That isn't what I meant and you know it. Why don't you take up a hobby? Collect stamps or something so you can entertain yourself without annoying me."

"I wasn't trying to annoy you! I am trying to talk to you. I want you to forgive me, I want..."

"You are forgiven."

"That was a little precipitous, wasn't it?" He eyed her suspiciously"what are you forgiving me for?"

"I have no idea. You are the one that wanted forgiveness." She raised her eyebrows politely.' You tell me."

He took a deep breath " I am sorry for yelling at you, for jumping to conclusions and saying hateful uncalled for things."

"They were called for. And you were justified. " She looked down at her clasped hands and made the necessary effort to relax. " Will you forgive me also? For deceiving you and using you and causing you embarrassment?"

"Amanda." He pulled her against his chest despite her stiff unyielding posture. "There is nothing to forgive, sweetie. I understand why you didn't tell me."

Amanda slowly stepped away then started toward the gym door. "Its in the past Brian." She called over her shoulder. "Forget about it. we are both obviously sorry and determined not to make the same mistakes again. That is good enough for me. Now I have to go. I will see you Wednesday."

"Amanda..."

She didn't stop, didn't turn to him, didn't slow her pace at all. But she could feel his eyes boring into her and just before the heavy back door swung shut behind her she heard a bang that sounded suspiciously like a fist hitting a locker.