Past | Seungjin✓

72

PAST

Seungjin gently rubbed the dirt that hide between his sister's small chubby fingers. The relatively tiny hands shying away from the cold water that pouring continuosly from the old rusted tap.

"Minjin, how many times do I have to tell you not to play in the dirt or outside?" Seungjin confronted his six year old sister.

Lifting his gaze from the fat fingers, minjin's eyes were red and puffy while her bottom lip was pushing out into a pout. He could tell that she was about to have another fit. Seungjin had no problem with it, the other people here did. He would rather take a million beatings, punishments for his sister if it meant that she would be left unscratched. However he could not bleed and bruise forever.

The moment he completed the task of cleaning her hands the tears seems to finally find their way out of her naturally squinted eyes. He softly swung her onto his hip as she bawled out onto his shoulder. He tentatively swiped his finger across her spine comfortingly as the wetness of her eyes were seeping into his shirt and onto his bare shoulder.

"Remember seungjin loves you. Just be a good girl okay?" he said softly when her sobs had toned down and she had fallen asleep. He carried her up the stairs shaking his body in a constant movement for his sister to sleep peacefully. He laid her inside the wardrobe sized bedroom with a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

He closed the door and sat against the back of it with his legs crossed. He detached his notebook from the inside of his shirt. The notebook was obviously stolen but he stole it from someone who did not see the value in it. Miss, Sir's daughter. She never cared for school,her numerous tutors nor her education in general. The only thing she ever really studied was seungjin which he thought was awfully weird. She had such a comfortable lifestyle. Frankly seungjin was not even exaggerating. The reason being is that she could read, write and properly articulate words and sentences with that knowledge. There was not a lick of improper language like slang on her tongue although Sir and his wife make countless of speech errors and constantly use slang to communicate with each other. Even her brother as well as her brother's friends received the bare minimum of marks to pass a year yet she did not even care to pass. Sir had always shrugged it of by saying 'most girls know less to nothing of what she knows in fact she's quite lucky'. After that he would completely close the topic without any further discussion. Though true, she still had an advantage that even some boys did not have.

Seungjin flipped through the pages of his notebook. It was the only way he got to learn. By quietly listening to miss's brother,Sangji, during his lectures. His tutor was quite loud which made it easier for seungjin to obtain the wanted information. It was wanted because servants like him were not permitted the with the luxury of education. He just wanted to leave this place anyway he could. He most definitely was determined to finish the undesired debt that took heavy load on his shoulders. Who was he complaining to, he brought all this on himself when he accepted Sir's conditions. Although it was so fucking hard he was going to get his life back. He was going to see his joyous father again after years of suffering through distorted and unclear memories. He could not stay here trying his very best to remember his father's face instead of working on a way to leave. He wants to fall back into his mother's arms. Erase the moment she cried, make it a faded memory shadowed by a new happiness. The happiness that will her warm when he and his sister squish themselves into her comfort space. The sadness will disappear like the dried tears that have fallen onto the ground dripped from her cheeks.

He was going to create a new  life for them, not with a pea sized brain but he will be knowledgeable, intelligent and have a life his always dreamed of, a normal one.

Seungjin accounted all the costs that he and minjin has for Sir under his breath silently. Sir mentioned the countless of things that he needed to pay for to maintain the health of servants enough to keep them in service of him for many years. 

Even though his far from legible handwriting was not helping he kept account of everything making sure he had no major set backs in finishing the debt ,that could potentially ruin his hopes. By the looks of it he has, sadly a few more years in addition to the daily negatives that set to them back. Seungjin sighed as he got up using the wall to support him but slightly regretting siting on the hard cold floor for a long duration of time. He slowly tucked the notebook between minjin's arms under the soft blanket, he stared for second or two be shrugging, and not caring about the drool dripping from minjin's mouth onto his notebook. He then headed to complete his servant duties that will help him, if not save him from the undesired life he was currently living. If only it was just a dream, one could hope, but eventually people wake up from dreams. Unfortunately for seungjin he was facing reality at its finest.

I want you to be alive

You don't gotta die today

Now let me tell you why