Bates & Landon [Wattys2015]

LANDON

Landon

I couldn't cry when I ran into the bathroom, I was just replaying the events that unfolded within my mind. I crammed myself in one of the stalls, sliding down to the floor slowly. I didn't shed a tear, my emotions were fragile today. I didn't know why, maybe it was because of my nerves towards him.

Bates.

Why did he have to make me have trouble sleeping at night? His pulchritudinous hair that always seemed to fall in just the right places, his eyes-- a deep brown color that seemed to mesmerize me in multiple ways that didn't seem possible. Even his flaws were beautiful. The light scar on his left eyebrow or the scar that was on his chin, it was little. But the scar was there; another untold story. His slightly crooked nose and his uneven row of his bottom teeth that crowded together a bit. He was still breathtakingly beautiful to me.

"Landon," a voice filled the empty bathroom, invading my thoughts,"are you okay? H--He told me you came in here," Alice stood in front of my bathroom door. "Are you going to open up or am I going to talk to you though the stall door?"

I didn't reply, I stared at her clean designer shoes. I looked at my shoes, they were a old, beaten up converse that weren't even white anymore. I could see her pricey jeans that looked amazing on her. I was wearing washed out Walmart jeans that I've had for a while, a hole was forming at the bottom because it dragged against the floor. Those jeans didn't even look right on me. They were too tight at the top then at the bottom they were too loose.

She sat down, her back to the stall door I was in. "Okay, stall door it is." I could now see her pale blue shirt, it fit her amazingly. It showed off her hour glass figure and it brought out her blue eyes. "What was so bad that happened that you ran off from him when you made such a fuss just to talk to him?"

"I happened," I said, my voice sounding loud throughout the bathroom. My insecurities were eating at ever inch of my mind; whispering all the things I hated about myself.

"Oh, don't go into one of your sadness episodes, Landon. Listen, it's okay if you made a fool of yourself. It's not like he's always going to remember that you had gotten embarrassed. Everyone's gotten into that situation and felt that way. He knows that." Alice spoke to me in a soothing, best friend way.

"I know, but it was embarrassing. I--I couldn't stop saying sorry, Alice." My lower lip quivered and I bit on it, causing my mind to focus on the pain rather than my sea of emotions that threatened to pull me under.

"Well, you couldn't help it, could you? And that's okay. You felt the need to apologize; so you did." She spoke with confidence I wish I had. "So, no need to be down, my friend. Maybe you've embarrassed yourself, but at least you made the effort to try to talk to him. Which most girls wouldn't do that, you know." She said. "You are brave. Sometimes even braver than most people our age."

"That's such a lie," I laughed bitterly, "I can barely speak up when a teacher calls on me."

"A teacher calling on you has nothing to do with braveness, Landon." she spoke, "Anyone can get called on and answer a question, correct or not. But you talking to him when you are engrossed with him, that's bravery. I'm even a little jealous."

"Ha! You? Jealous?" I couldn't ever think that Alice would get jealous. She was perfect! In a non-romantic way, as I meant, she was just beautiful. With or without make up (I've seen both) and yet she still looked like a goddess beauty to me.

She just was.

"I am," she admits, voice soft. "you have done some pretty surprising and out-of-Landon's-ordinary events."

I laugh a little. I stand up, open the stall door and she stands up and faces me. "Thanks for making me feel better," I give Alice a hug, squeezing her.

"What is an amazing friend like me here for?" She jokes, squeezing me back.

"We should go to art class," I groan. "Oh, goodness, he's in that class." I hoped he didn't ask about anything, gosh, I hope he didn't even glace at me. No, that's a lie. I hoped he did, if not, I'll be upset. How pathetic can I be?

"Oh, it won't be that bad. Shush. If you want to, we can sit in the back. Away from everyone and it'll just be us, okay?" She put her blonde hair to one side, showing her, causing her hair to show her face-- framed perfectly, and with any-girl-to-die for collar bones. Blinking -- her eyelashes were so long, and they were so gorgeous -- she looked away from the mirror quickly.

"Okay," I whispered. We walked to the class. We sat in the back like she had said. I looked at Alice, she was looking down at her hands. Then she looked up.

"We can go to the mall after school and get some yummy frozen yogurt, okay?" Alice was saying as I hid my face with my long hair and hoodie.

"That sounds good," I said back to her. "Hey, tell me when he walks in, please?"

"Sure," was her only reply. She sighed, pulling out a water bottle and taking a gulp I let my thoughts go where ever they went and then Alice, tapping on my arm hissed at me in a low voice, "He's here!"

I kept my head low, too scared to do anything else. Even if I did, he wouldn't be looking my way. As always.

"What's he doing now?" I asked her after the bell rung.

"Um, nothing. Just sitting." Alice's voice was tight and my head snapped up to look at him. He was talking to Cece Jakes, well sitting by her and talking to her. They were both smiling, chatting away with no cares. His smile was small, it disappeared almost as fast as it had appeared. I was both happy and sad by that. Sad because his smile must be dazzling, and I wanted to see it. But I was happy about that because Cece Jakes couldn't make him smile.

Ha-ha!

"Hello, class!" Mrs. Ellie welcomed the whole class, making us all bring the attention to her. We had a free day, which consisted of painting whatever we wanted, mostly freestyle. Bates and Cece kept chatting with each other-- they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"Hey," Alice put her hand over my paintbrush, stopping me. "Don't worry about him, okay?"

"How can I not when he's just having a--a blast with," I made my voice lower. "Cece Jakes while I'm just, ugh." I didn't know exactly how I felt right now. I was mostly upset because of me and how I reacted. Why couldn't I be more like Alice and speak so confidently and be so pretty like her?

Maybe then he'd like me.

Alice and I chatted about simple stuff. Right now, we were on the subject of crushes.

Preferably, her crush. "Yeah, so who do you like, huh?" I questioned her with a wiggle of my brow.

She managed a simple shrug, biting her lip, and looking away. "No one."

"Uh huh," I gave her my I-know-you-are-lying-look.

"I don't like anyone," she said. "Now, I mean, I've seen some fine boys here, but not enough to be a crush." She made eye level with me, daring me to see she was lying. But as she said it, she seemed like she was telling the truth.

"Oh," I shrugged. "Well you obviously know who mine is." With a look at Bates, I sighed. She made a grunt of agreement and we began to focus more on our painting.

When class ended, I didn't bother to look his way or bother about where he was going or what he was doing. I walked out of the classroom with Alice and we headed to go get some frozen yogurt.