Amarantha's Daughter

What is not dead may never die

Feyre stood in the doorway of Rhys' office, admiring her beautiful husband as he was writing a letter. Court business probably. Sunlight shone through the window, illuminating his sharp features in a way she would love to capture in a painting. She would never tire of looking at him, her mate, her husband.

"Did you want something, darling. Or did you simply come to admire the view?" He asked, lifting his violet eyes from the letter to her.

"I need to tell you something, but the view is quite nice." She admitted and demonstratively gave him a once-over.

"Is it about the new studio? We can always change it if you don't completely love it. I think the guest room next to our room might have better light, but I'm not sure." Rhys started.

"No, not that. The studio is great. Can't find much better lighting than having a giant window in the ceiling." Feyre said with a smile and made her way to Rhys who made space for her so she could sit in his lap, which she did, straddling his hips.

"But we do need to redecorate that guest room." She put her arms around his neck and couldn't resist pressing a small kiss to his lips.

He looked a little confused, but was certainly not complaining. He'd much rather make out with his wife, than write letters about weapons maintenance. "What for?"

Her pulse had been high ever since she entered his office, but now it felt like her heart was pounding. She leaned back to look him in the eyes. Eyes that shone of love so strong she thought her breath might catch in her throat. Swallowing her nerves, she smiled up at him.

"We probably need some extra space for when our baby arrives."

Of all the things he guessed she would say, this was not it. He could practically hear his heart stop and watched as his lovely wife held her breath in wait of his response. A baby. They'd agreed to try, but he would've never thought it would happen this fast. He thought he would have had more time to process...it, at least tell her about it.

Silence hung in the air like a heavy curtain.

"I thought you would be happy." She said quietly.

He watched as the smile disappeared from her lips. He blinked and felt his eyes fill with tears. This was different. He was happy, truly. But he had to tell her.

With a sniffle, he wiped away his tears before he cradled his wife's face gently like she was made of the finest glass.

"I am happy. I am just..." He swallowed. "I have to tell you something."

"Don't tell me you're pregnant too." She said seriously, to which he laughed. The smile returned to her face then. As if the sound of his laughter was the prettiest song in the world.

"Definitely not." - "It's just... This won't be my first baby."

"What?!" Feyre looked at him as if he'd just grown two heads, then she got off of his lap and stumbled away to put some distance between them. Granted, they hadn't really had the exes talk. She only had the two, but he'd lived for hundreds of years. Feyre wasn't sure she'd wanted to know just how many had gotten to bed her husband. But this was something else entirely. This was the kind of thing he could have, should have, brought up sooner. She thought that it was difficult for High Fae to conceive, especially when you weren't mated. Her head started spinning with all the unanswered questions her brain came up with. With who? Where were they now? Were they older than her? Were they not talking? Why hadn't he told her before?

Rhys, being daemati and also her mate, heard the questions as if she'd spoken them out aloud. He got up too, but made no moves towards her. It hurt him to see her upset, but he had to tell her. He didn't want to have any secrets for his mate. This was just another dark chapter of his past he hadn't wanted to think about.

Then she stilled as realization hit her. ''"Wait... Don't tell me it's with Amarantha?" The sadness in his eyes confirmed. "Oh honey." She walked to him and embraced him into her arms. Rhys rested his cheek on the top of her head and hugged her back. "What happened?"

It had been a stillbirth. But, he couldn't help but suspect that it wasn't an accident. Not that he'd wanted the baby. He'd done all he could to avoid it, and as far as he knew, so had she. Amarantha didn't like him. That wasn't why she had chosen him as her personal slave. Why would she want a baby with him? No, she had always been in love with Tamlin. She hated Rhys because his family had been on the opposite side in the war. She enjoyed punishing him. He could sense it from her. The only reason he stayed with her for 50 years was because he wanted to protect his family, friends and the whole of Velaris. He hadn't even known she was pregnant until she showed him their stillborn child.

He told her the story as she held him in his arms. "I couldn't smell it on her, and she didn't show. She had a magical shield. She was very powerful so..." - "But even if I had known. I don't know if..." He cleared his voice. "I don't know what I would have done."

Babies were the epitome of innocence. But with her as your mother, and him as the father.... He was ashamed to even think it, much less say it out loud. The fact that he was relieved it had been stillborn. That his firstborn child, his daughter, would never see the light of day. He'd never told anyone before, couldn't even make himself utter the words now. Instead, he let Feyre read his mind.

"I will never be able to get that image out of my head. She was so... tiny."

She led him to a couch and sat them down. "You should let yourself grieve."

He nodded, relieved despite himself. Of course she would handle it well. Feyre was wonderful. He should have told her ages ago. "You're right. I should. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.. I didn't want to think about it. But when you told me, my mind jumped to that memory." He swallowed thickly. "I feel like I've completely ruined this moment. I am very happy you are pregnant Feyre, darling. You will make an amazing mother."

"You don't have to apologize, my love. Thank you for telling me. And you will make an amazing father." She smiled lovingly at him.
He took her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. "I don't know what I did to ever deserve you."

- A week later -

"Do you like it?" She asked gently.

They were standing in a secluded area in the garden. Feyre had had Elain help her do the planting and she thought the result was quite beautiful. A fitting space to grieve. It was secluded with rose bushes so that he would have privacy and in the middle was a beautiful, and quite rare, cherry blossom tree. There was also a bench, various flower beds with delicate multi-colored petals and a bird fountain.

Rhys was at a loss for words. Once again, his eyes teared up.

"Too much?"

"It's perfect." He kissed her and then they sat on the bench and grieved over his daughter.